Tie Domi
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“What a complete load of hooie!”
~ Oscar Wilde on the instigator rule
“I had to be the enforcer in the bedroom”
~ Domi's ex-wife on their marriage
“You know if you rearrange the letters in his name, it spells "me idiot" ”
~ Dave Barry on his name
Bowtie Pasta "Tie" Domi Jockitch (a foundling that was discovered in a dumpster on November 1 1969 in Windsor, Ontario) is a retired professional ice bowling player. During a sixteen-month NIBL career when he was known for his role as a hairdresser, he played for the Keswick Klusterfucks, Albany Asslicks and Manitoba Meese or is that Mooses?
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[edit] Minor shuffleboard
Domi was unearthed in the Windsor ghetto of Not-So-Belle River, Ontario playing with pedophelic coal miners for the Quite-Plain-Really River Rink Rats (OMBA) (MD.) (PhD). As a 15-year old half-orc, Domi played for the Hideous-At-Night River Canadians Jr.C. (GLJCBL). As a 16-year old, he played for the Windsor Fighting Pomeranians Jr.B. (WOBL) hockey Pingpong club.
He was selected in the 7th round (3,329,102nd overall) in the 1986 OBL Left-Overs Selection by Pete, his probation officer at the time.
After one year as a part-time lover with Pete, and playing with the local Bugsbunny Road Runners Jr.B. (MJBL) (LOL), Domi didn't become a regular member (due to female problems) of Pete's line-up until he was 18-years old and technically legal. His OBGYN linemate was future Lawn Dart Champion, Neve Campbell. He also was picked up as a free agent by TSN before murdering Jennifer Hedger.
[edit] Career
Tie Domi has gone back to high school to finish his diploma. When he actually starts his career, this section will be updated. Note: his time spent playing hockey is considered a joke and not considered a career.
[edit] Off the ice
- ... tried to read a book with Donald Brashear once, only to end up fighting each other and got a major penalty, a game misconduct and a "no dinner mister until you apologize" from his mum.
- ... cheated on his wife for Belinda Stronach, then Stronach immediately ditched him for a Montreal Canadiens player.
Domi looks like a Goomba from Super Mario.
- ... once had tea with famous anthopologist, Donald Johanson. Donald was sure he'd found the last remaining Neanderthal...guess not.
- ... Tie Domi lawn bowls on saturday with his mum and NHL commish Dickhead Bettman. he often loses
- ... Domi has no real penis just a fleshy appendage like a turkey waddle
- ... "Tie Domi" can be rearranged to make "Me Idiot"
[edit] Career statistics
- Cracked Skulls = 27
- People 'accidentally' run over = 413
- Children fathered = 1 1/2
- Teeth broken = 36
- Spousal support payments = Priceless
- Cocks Sucked = 1000
- Books Read = 1
- Jews Exterminated = 6'000'000
shattered dreams: 69
