Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport

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“Tying kangaroo's down ain't no sport, mate"”

~ Rolf Harris on sport

“In Soviet Russia Kangaroo tyes YOU down"”

~ Russian Reversal on Tying Kangaroos Down

Do you Limey, take this Kanga...

The notorious habit of British backpackers marrying Kangaroos in order to secure an Australian work permit. Backpackers often find themselves short of a bob or two midway through their trawl of Bangcock's more moist nightspots. Unable to work on reaching Australia due to the Aussies’ restrictive working practices, the backpacker is forced to take desperate measures. Kangaroos, with their bad teeth and tendency for violence, make for an easy and familiar target for the short and not so charming pommy backpacker.

The former Australian Prime Minister, John Howard has strongly condemned this practice (marrying kangaroo’s, not driving ute’s) and promises to raise the matter with the British ambassador. "When you're all descended from convicts, your men wear nothing but dungarees and call everyone Sheila, are you surprised that your women are looking elsewhere for a bit of class? We provide that." the ambassador responded, "And with these Ferrero Roche you are really spoiling us."

The current Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is secretly speaking with head kangaroos (after apologizing to them for the parliament not discouraging the drunken bogans who go out at night with shotguns ...) to pass a bill which will allow this sacred yet morally bankrupt ritual be legal ! Officially he has denied allowing kangaroos to be tied down . "When I was in China they were jailing wildlife activists for tying down pandas, it may be a sport here in Australia but no-one is tying our kangaroo's down"

[edit] The Wedding

The wedding will usually be a traditional shotgun affair as the pommy will usually have already had his way with the kangaroo. There will of course be time for a few hymns including the classic Two Little Boys. This song is commonly ascribed to the British star Gary Glitter, though court proceedings’ have made it clear they definitely did not want to be in his gang.