Tigger
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“I'm tired of motherfucking tiggers on motherfucking woods!”
~ Samuel L. Jackson on Tigger
Tigger (also known as Tigga the Nigga) is a hyperactive tiger who lives in Tiger Woods. As is evident from his name he is illiterate, and being an animal he is also illegitimate. But these two issues are only the beginning of Tigger's numerous problems.
Although Tigger claims to be a friend of the other residents of the wood, he is, in fact, a liar. His simmering hatred of the wood's other residents frequently comes out in the form of dasterdly plans to destroy them. But being a good actor (as is evident from his Oscar for best male lead 2002), he is able to hide his true motives.
Considering the personalities of Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, et al, his veiled malevolence could be either a good thing or a bad thing. It's up to you, my friend.
Tigger has a strange compulsion to staring in a toilet. He claims to be "looking for Pooh".
[edit] Tigger's problems
- He is a catnip addict
- He is a fanatical Caffenist
- He back-stabs his friends
- He suffers from hyperactivity
- He has a high and annoying voice
- He is egotistical
- He is popular with children
- Children who discover Tigger become irritating to their parents
- He is a tiger
- He is a plushie
- He has a short attention span
- It is physically impossible to poke tigger in the eye
- Tigger has a LOT more problems than advantages.
- Tigga, please!
[edit] Tigger's advantages
- He is a tiger
- He is AWSOME
- He is egotistical
- He is fluffy
- He is a good actor
- He is capable of using his 'tail' as a mode of transportation as well as fertilisation.
[edit] The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fuck is fun, fun, fun
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm hella Stoned!
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful chaps
They're loaded with vim and with vigor
They love to leap in your laps
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy pouncy
Fuck is fun, fun, fun
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm gonna eat your mom
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are total bitches
They take all your err... drugs...
They love to give you itches
They're bouncy, trouncy, pouncy, flouncy
Fuck is fun, fun, fun
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm
A jackass
Tiggers are wonderful fellahs
Tiggers are awfully sweet
Everyone elses is jealous
And thats why I repeat
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fuck is fun, fun, fun
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm huffing kittens
Yes, I'm gonna be sedated
(Grrrrrr...)
