Tillydrone

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Tillydrone is a horrible area of the otherwise beautiful city of Aberdeen, Scotland. Lying north of the city centre and slightly north-west of Old Aberdeen, it is roughly bounded by the River Don(which is where the local youngsters dump all the motorcycles they have stolen), St Machar Drive(where the school that none of the kids bother to go to is situated), and the main Aberdeen-Inverness railway line(where children as young as 5 play "chicken" with oncoming trains).

The name is a corruption of the Scottish Gaelic "Tulach Droighne", meaning "This a beautiful place now, but at some point will be home to a sprawling mess of disgusting architecture and even more disgusting people.". The name is somewhat older than the ghetto that essentially comprises the area. The slum is colloquially referred to as Tilly.

Terraced low-rise brothel in Tillydrone

The ghetto was built as council housing and includes tower blocks and terraced tenement flats in addition to some low-rise brothels. As with most ghetto housing stock in the United Kingdom, some of these properties have been purchased by their insane occupants. It is presumed that these stupid people thought that now they are on the property ladder, they can just wait a few years until the value of their homes rose above the price of a wrap of heroin. If that ever happens they will no doubt sell the properties and take the money straight to the dealer next door. As a result of its image and demographics, Tillydrone is one of the less affluent areas of Aberdeen. However, the proximity of the area to the University of Aberdeen results in some of the housing being rented to poor foreign students who organize their accommodation before coming to Aberdeen and don't realize what they're letting themselves in for.

Tillydrone has a massive off-license full of nothing but Tenants Super, plus a few other shops(which change ownership every couple of weeks because of daily robberies) and businesses including a pharmacy(they have to get the methadone somewhere); a post office and a pub which is always empty because everyone in the area is lying on an un-carpeted floor smacked out their eyeballs. There is also a school, where they teach the kids how to weigh things very precisely and how to make people pay you you back. There are also Junkie-run care facilities for elderly crack addicts.

All the pavements and roads in the area are covered in a 2 inch layer of dog shit due to the refusal of locals to pick up after their Staffordshire Bull Terriers(these are the only breed in the area).And those Staffies simply don't do small, hard shits due their diet of overdosed junkie carcass.

Between the main part of Tillydrone and the River Don is an extensive area of open and wooded land, which is handy when "that cunt" didn't pay you for the 63rd time in a row and you were forced to murder and bury him. At the edge of this, alongside Tillydrone Road, is the Ned Tower, a turreted fortress built from used hypodermic needles, crushed Tenants Super cans and held together by "that white stuff you always see hanging from the corner of a junkies mouth".

The site of the Donside Paper Mill which lies between Tillydrone and the River Don, is currently being prepared for construction of a "Localized-Burst" atomic bomb which is it is hoped will rid the good people of Aberdeen of this scourge.