Time-travelling fried eggs
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
No-one believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that we were under the intense scrutiny of a race of time-travelling fried eggs. Few men even considered the possibility that fried eggs could evolve such a highly-evolved form of temporal transport. Indeed, their exploits are well documented. British MP Edwina Curry attempted to reveal the location of the Eggs' secret base, and several films depicting aliens with egg-shaped heads have emerged, clearly preparing the human race for ovine-aliens.
The truth is, in fact, more outrageous than enyone had imagined. The fried eggs have saved humanity since the dawn of time. It was documented by the psycho-historian Arthur C Clarke that in the year 1204 a giant egg was placed into the famous town of Liverpool, and from there all intelligent life began. The first primate to touch the egg became known as "Richard the EggToucher", who begat "Johnny the Egglover" and there began the long line which eventually became the ruling class of Eggs who tend to congregate in supermarkets, and perform experiments on chickens.
In about a jillion years' time, the eggs will evolve into their next natural state of being, Fried Eggs, and will learn how to bend Neutrinos into Chronitoniumite, the only know substance to make time stand still (other than the magazines in a doctor's waiting room). They will use it to save the Earth from every war ever, except for Wakefield when it was at war with Russia. The eggs insist to this day that they had nothing to do with the name-change of Doctor Robotnik (from Sonic)to 'Eggman'. And few would argue with them.
Moral
The only known way to defeat these eggs is to eat them. So always eat your eggs, kiddies!
