Tiny Tim
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
This article is about the dude. For the character from the Christmas Carol, see Emo
Tiny Tim (née Howard Stern, Senior) (1930-1990) was a professional Jewish wrestler of the latter part of the 20th Century.
Contents |
[edit] The Meteoric Rise of Tiny Tim
Tiny Tim started out as a total unknown in 1963, when he was introduced to the WWWWWF as "Otto von Bismuth". After his thorough and humiliating pummelings at the hands of his first three opponents (Carrot Top, Liza Minnelli, and Stephen Hawking), Bobby "The Brain" Heenan took the young inexperienced wrestler under his wing, and renamed him by his now famous moniker (in spite of the fact that Tiny Tim was in excess of 6 foot 12 and 500 pounds). Tiny Tim then began history's most rapid climb to the WWWWWF championship crown; when finally in 1964, he soundly defeated the reigning heavyweight champion Gorilla Tycoon before a national pay-per-view audience and a screaming packed crowd in Locust Grove, Georgia in a stunning display of technical wizardry, spurting blood, ruptured spleens, and bribed referees.
[edit] The Meteoric Fall of Tiny Tim
After only two title defenses in early 1965 (both of which he lost), Tiny Tim was forced to retire in shame when it was revealed to the world and a shocked WWWWWF that he was secretly abusing placeboes and huffing kittens like there was no tomorrow.
[edit] Tiny Tim's Trademark Attributes
- Wielded a small toy ukelele
- Wore garish makeup and an extremely tight leotard
- Emitted high-pitched screams when attacking or being attacked
- As a hobby, grew prize-winning tulips at his multi-million dollar estate
- After defeating each opponent, asked in a humble voice, quote, "Would you like some more?"
[edit] The Return of Tiny Tim(?)
In 1988, after being saved by some guy named Jesus, a reformed Tiny Tim briefly re-donned the ultra-tight leotard and re-wielded the ukelele and re-entered the squared polygon to face an enraged Hulk Hogan in a publicity stunt being held to benefit TVTV (Traumatized Victims of Television Violence). During the live broadcast, Tiny Tim got caught in a 1/3 nelson and had his head ripped clean from his body. He died in penniless obscurity only a few years later.
[edit] See Also
