To Kill a Mockingbird
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- This article is about eradicating birds. For instructions on how to insult dangerous beasts, see To Mock a Killingbird.
To Kill a Mockingbird is the sequel to The Anarchist Cookbook. It's basically the exact same thing, but the instructions are rewritten for killing mockingbirds instead of conservatives. It is translated from the original Mexican edition Tequila Mocking Bird. The title to Harper Lee's novel "To Kill a Mocking Bird" was stolen from the sequel of the The Anarchist Cookbook. There is a book coming out soon, entitled To Shoot A Bluejay, which is a collaberation of Oscar Wilde and Arther E It is being waz up lossers written by two simple country folk, in an attempt to spread the word about the true nature of the original text (incest, Sex, drugs and of course senseless killing). The sequel has attracted much opposition from groups such as PETA; while conservatives attract little sympathy, birds are cute.
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[edit] General Storyline plot
The story is about a family of three Finches devising ways to kill the mockingbirds, with a small subplot about the basic human dignity that unites us all. Originally the finches use air rifles, then biological weapons (they release a mad dog into the mockingbird base), and then finally with Miss Lula's Indian bow mouth. This third weapon reference completes the book's "weapons motif". In the middle of the story, Bob Ewell's daughter (and sister, thanks to the "incest motif"), Mayella Ewell, tries to rape a black guy, Tom Robinson. For some reason, people convict Tom Robinson for the rape, even though he was the one who got pregnant and got AIDS from the incident. Bob Ewell defends Tom Robinson in court, making Atticus Finch (Scout's father and brother. Incest motif again.) very mad. Eventually, after the conviction in court, Tom Robinson escaped in a ham costume, but his arm is broken. Boo Radley (who has been watching everybody this whole time) takes advantage of this by carrying Dill to Tom (against Dill's will). Tom turns out to be gay as well as Dill, and a match is made. Unfortunately, Tom is later killed by rabid dogs attracted to his ham costume. The book ends with Scout, Jem, Bob Ewell, Dill, Atticus, Miss Maudie, 23 Mockingbirds, Boo Radley, and L'il Chuck Little all raping each other, which is a pretty terrible scene if you picture it in your head.
[edit] Fun Facts
- Recent studies show that what Papa do does, in fact, count.
- Tim Johnson and Rose Alymer create CatDog
- The mockingbirds are all killed.
[edit] How To Kill A Mockingbird
YOU fucking shoot it!!!
How to Kill a Mockingbird is a harrowing documentary chronicling the struggles between the time-travelling pirate/robot guy alliance and the ninja armies of Ancient China, and how these two forces are united against the robotic zombie Mockingbird fleet. A literary clasic. Won the 1492 Pulitzer and is famous for the phrase that has solved world hunger, filled up the hole in the ozone layer,invented Maple story, defeated Hitler, and totally prevented World War XXVII: "YEA RIGHT!" See also: How To Kill A Mockingbird for a page on this movie. [They killed scout with a shot gun in the last chapter]
- Read more about To Shoot A Bluejay-book actually coming out in June.
  Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Bruce Willis is a ghost, Archimonde is killed at the last second by a Wisp rush, Buffy dies twice, Roxas lives in cyberspace, Creedy kills Sutler and is in turn killed by the mortally wounded V, DiZ dies when his machine self-destructs, the Wizard of Yendor comes back to life, the Joker kills Jason Todd, Nibbler pushed Fry into the freezer, the Dark Lord shall rise again, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
- Use a Shotgun
- Use a 50 megaton thermonuclear device.
- Spiked Mockingbird traps.
- Just eat the damn thing
- Flamethrower
- The bird flew to hitler and crapped on him
- Cher
- Learn the importance of loving people for who they are,
- but james bond killed him
- The Moon
- Your face
- Shoot 15 bluejays.
- Flaming Sharks
- Dressing up in a Ham costume
- Bending 8 Year Old Scout Over
- Read How To Kill A Mockingbird, now available in paperback and hardcover.
- Use an air-rifle (Great idea Jem!)
[edit] The Movie
In 1962 the book was transformed into a movie, however the storyline was adapted to involve racism, the death of a bitch (no, seriously, i think) and a complete lack of bird killings. The story is about a single nigger lovin' father named Atticus Finch, who is a lawyer in Maycomb County, defending local black man, Tom Robinson, which at the time was not very common. However Atticus is not a perfect citizen himself, he is defending Tom Robinson for rape, while he secretly rapes his children himself. Jean Louise 'Scout' Finch and Jem Finch, believe this is normal as they are not allowed into the outside world. When Scout hears about The Tom Robinson Rape Trial, she is confused, in one of the most heartwarming quotes of the film.
"Atticus? What's Rape?" "Jean Louise Finch...Bend Over, I Will Show You."
And when scout is told her dad is a "nigger lover" at school, another memorable quote arises as she confronts her father.
"Atticus, are you a nigger lover?" "Don't say nigger, scout, that's common. Now Bend Over"
And the last lines:
"Atticus, how do I kill a Mockingbird?" "Well, you see Miss Maudie bending over across the way?" "Yessir." "Well, blow her ass off with the rifle." (Scout does.) "Now, you bend over like she was...yeah, that's good."
Most Of The To Kill A Mockingbird Situations end with Scout bending over, and the young actress who played Scout in the classic, (Robyn Harris) said in media comments she was uncomfortable with these intense and powerful scenes, however overall enjoyed being in the film, bending over and hearing Clark Kent say 'yeah, that's good'.
