Today Show

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The Today Show is a television Program aired on Australia's Channel 9. It is often referred to as The Today Show. It isn't the number one show, but they do try sometimes. It follows a very strict regiment which runs as follows:

  • 0600: Morning Bulletins
  • 0630: Exercise
  • 0700: Daily Nutrition Information
  • 0730: Free Time
  • 0800: Secondary Morning Bulletins
  • 0830: Daily Worship and Reflection
  • 0900: The power is disconnected and presenters are returned to storage for another day.

[edit] Presenters

Karl and Lisa present the Today Show (yes we have noticed it...not sure if they have yet)
Karl and Lisa present the Today Show (yes we have noticed it...not sure if they have yet)
  • Karl Stefanovic is the robotic one, with the penis, and the one which delights in telling us how hairy his legs are because he is ethnic. He assists Lisa be being the stable half of the desk, and often assumes that role when the furniture fails.` If You are not careful he might bust a cap on yo' ass!
  • Lisa Wilkinson is the woman (you can tell cause she has lonnger hair!). She previously hosted weekend sunrise on Channel 7 which is the nations most highly acclaimed Current Affairs program. She has also been editor of CLEO which asked important questions about vaginas and other women's things.
  • Georgie Gardener was originally the Gardener , but later assumed the role of newreader after her child was removed from her womb via viewer text poll. Geogrie had previously been a auto-cue reader on the Channel 7 morning show 'Dark-Side' before moving to Channel 9 where she initially controlled the weather.
  • Cameron Williams,or "Cameron Williams" as he lies to be know, impregnates the female presenters when ratings drop. He also keep viewers up to date on top stoires about curling and table hocky.
  • Richard Wilkins reads Women's Day to the viewers anmd chats with the gays.
  • Steve Jacobs controls the weather using his magical wand which only he, and his elfin friend Grant Denyer have.

[edit] History

Today Show the cereal c.1946
Today Show the cereal c.1946

The Today Show was based on a popular 1950's breakfast cereal.

The show went to air in 1956 with a man and woman at the half. In those days it was very uncommon to see that combination, however Steve Liebamnn and Sue Kellaway were the first couple on TV to be seen in bed together. Over the years the show has broadcast from many places around the world including both Sydney and Melbourne.

[edit] See Also

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