User:Todd Lyons

Grand Cross of the Order

This user is an administrator, which explains his/her exceptionally high stress levels.

88 This user has written 88 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

18 This user has recorded 18 audio files because they love the sound of their own voice.

This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.

This user is Canadian ...and thinks you're a hoser!

This user is secretly training to be a Leprechaun, and believes themselves to be Irish.

This user joined the Folding@home Team, because he/she gives a damn & so should you.

10,000 This user has contributed 10,000 pints points to the Uncyclopedia Folding@home Team.

This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.

This user is an announcer for UnNews because no reputable broadcaster would hire them.

Todd Lyons is an UnTunes contributor. Hearing protection should always be worn within fifty yards of them.

This user plays bass, because it attracts groupies without the need for excessive rehearsal time.

This user plays guitar because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.

This user supports free operating systems because he/she is basically a cheapskate.

This user contributes with Debian because the swirl is hypnotic.

This user believes Iceweasel is less offensive than the copyrighted alternative.

This user has tested positive for INTJ on the Myers-Briggs Test. Groovy, baby!

This user is an evil clone of Bear.

This user is an evil clone of The Bard.

This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because he or she thinks that they take things way too seriously over there. Also, general lack of your-mom jokes rampant

This user is a member of the League of Benson, and therefore admits that Benson is better than this user.

My Last.fm Playlist

My profile at Uncyclopedia's last.fm group See who's there and join us today. My daily album recommendation: "Fully Completely" by The Tragically Hip

Alleged Works of Fact

Featured

• Fecal E.Coli—Featured November 24-25, 2005. (amazing art by RadicalX).
• The Night After Christmas—Featured December 26-27, 2005. (art by RadicalX and Mhaille).
• Richard M. Stallman—Nominated by Sikon. Featured February 11-12, 2006. (photos by Doug and Mahroww).
• OCD—So nice, it was featured twice! February 22, 2006, 12:11 AM - 12:18 AM and February 26-27, 2006. (M&Ms by MoneySign).
• The Root of All Evil—Nominated by SimulacrumCaputosis. Featured May 6-7, 2006.
• On a stick—Nominated by OsirisX. Featured May 21-22, 2006.
• Embracing Mediocrity—Three days from completion to front page featuredom. Thanks everyone! Nominated by Winston. Featured June 2-3, 2006.
• Oscar Mayer—Nominated by Kaizer the Bjorn. Featured June 4-5, 2006. My first back-to-back feature!
• HowTo:Get Banned—Nominated by Anonymous IP. Featured July 23-34, 2006.
• Horton Hires a Ho—Nominated by Rcmurphy. Featured October 14-15, 2006. (book cover by InfiniteMonkey).
• The Complete Idiot's Guide To Talking To Women—Nominated by emc. :) Featured November 23-24, 2006.
• Dear John letter—Nominated by Hardwick Fundlebuggy. Featured December 8, 2006.
• The Vagina Monologues—Nominated by Hindleyite. Featured December 10, 2006.
• Life's Answerable Questions—Featured December 26, 2006.
• Ecky-Thump—Nominated by Mhaille. Featured May 17, 2007.
• UnTunes:Middle Aged Suburban White Guy Rap—Nominated by Kip the Dip. Featured December 3, 2007.

On VFH Now

Nothing! Please nominate one of my articles on VFH

Leftovers

• Some of the great users who make my articles better: Mhaille, Hardwick Fundlebuggy, Claudius Prime, Prettiestpretty, Some user, Procopius

Project Participations

• HowTo — HowTo:Get Banned .:. HowTo:Speak Tamarian .:.

• UnBooks — Embracing Mediocrity .:. The Complete Idiot's Guide To Talking To Women .:. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer .:. Ronnie James Dio's Big Book of Nursery Rhymes

• UnMeta — Persona non grata

• UnNews Stories — Whale swims through downtown London .:. U.S.-Mexico drug tunnel discovered .:. Ex-Wal-Mart employee pleads guilty to fraud .:. 'Grandpa Munster' Al Lewis undead at 95 .:. Rolling Stones play for free in Brazil .:. Veganism as environmentally harmful as meat production, scientists prove .:. Litter a see is on Dee Kline expurtz say .:. Nut, housing shortage foments squirrel race war .:.

• Unquotable — William Shatner .:.

• UnScripts — The Taming of the Shrew .:.

• UnTunes — Middle Aged Suburban White Guy Rap .:. Stinky Love Song .:. I Like Cats (The Other White Meat) .:.

• Why? — Why?:Play Bass .:.

Project Initiatives

• Uncyclopedia:Folding@home (founder)

• Uncyclopedia:Hall of Shame (founder)

• UnNewsAudio (founder) — Nigerian census finds millions of rich, desperate princes (1225KB, info) .:. Grass found to be greener on the other side (1222KB, info) .:. Rumsfeld Silences War Critics With Op-Ed Piece (805KB, info) .:. Osama bin Laden awarded star on the Walk of Fame (847KB, info) .:. U.S.-Mexico drug tunnel discovered (795KB, info) .:. Last spot in heaven taken; hundreds waitlisted (557KB, info) .:. Veganism as environmentally harmful as meat production, scientists prove (2434KB, info) .:. Nut, housing shortage foments squirrel race war (3697KB, info) .:. Ex-Wal-Mart_employee_pleads_guilty_to_fraud (2745KB, info) .:. Rumsfeld blames fiasco on faulty simulations (2924KB, info) .:. Fanboy disappointed by PS3 (2933KB, info) .:. North Dakota Dick Festival expected to draw thousands (1675KB, info) .:. The Bowels of Hell open at The Root of All Evil (1982KB, info) .:. North Korea pokes South Korea with a really big stick (2473KB, info) .:.

• UnPoetia (founder) — Horton Hires a Ho .:. The Night After Christmas .:. The Best of The Writer's Almanac .:. Ozymandias .:. I Wandered Lonely Through A Cloud .:. How Do I Love Thee .:. Shall I Compare Thee .:. The Road Not Taken .:. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening .:. The Norton Anthology of Poetry, Vogon Edition .:. Invictus .:.

Other Contributions

Templates

Userboxes

Images

My futile attempts at graphical 133tness can be glimpsed here.

And...

• Significant Additions To: AAAAAAAAA! (spoken word version) (info) .:. Brian Mulroney .:. Canada .:. DSM .:. Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care .:. Googlewhack .:. Jean Chrétien .:. Kim Campbell .:. Microsoft Office .:. People with distinguished names .:.Pirate .:. Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film .:. The A-Team .:. Things the government doesn't want you to know .:. Totty .:. Wikistitution .:. Worst 100 Bands of All Time .:. Virus .:.

Possibly Contributions, But Possibly Not

• Huffed ~1000 broken redirects from Undictionary, Jan 2006.
• Huffed ~1300 articles from Uncyclopedia, Forest Fire Week, Nov. 2006.
• Linked most of the days (January 1 to December 31) to the Anniversaries Project.
• Founded the "Welcoming Committee" (Mhaille says so, anyway :) ...I'm not so sure).
• Named the Uncyclopedia:Departure_of_Fun, the Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise's Poet Lowrate award, and BENSON'S 3-D HOUSE OF PANCAKES.
• Started the "Slut List" thing. (Sorry. Really. Who knew it would turn out so wrong?)
• Resigned as an admin, but was abducted again by the powers that be. ;-)
• Made a serious effort to take Uncyclopedia less seriously by creating amusing and talented socks.

Awards

This is my mantelpiece of love from my fellow Uncyclopedians! My conservative side tells me I've gotten too many, but my competitive side reminds me periodically that my collection is not quite complete. So... ;-)

Other sites I recommend

• BBspot (e.g.: Microsoft Nearing Completion of Death Star)
• DistroWatch
• Kubuntu - Linux for Human Beings

Categories: User admin | CanadianUsers | Folding@home Team Members | UnNews Staff users | UnTunes Perpetrators | Bassists | Guitarists | Linux users | Debian users | Iceweasel Users | Myers-Briggs Test Results | Evil Clone Users | MEMBERS OF THE LEAGUE OF BENSON