Tonga
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| Motto: Ko Tonga moe Otua ko hoku tufi'a | |||||
| Anthem: Cum on tonga tonga tonga honda honda tonsils!!!!! and also A Tonga da Mironga do Cabuletê | |||||
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| Capital | Nuku'alofa | ||||
| Largest city | Nuku'alofa | ||||
| Official languages | Tongan, English | ||||
| Government | {{{government_type}}} | ||||
| National Hero(es) | {{{national_heros}}} | ||||
| Declaration | |||||
| Currency | {{{currency}}} | ||||
| Religion | Christian | ||||
[edit] Tourism
Tourism is a large source of income for the Kingdom of Tonga. Tourists enjoy a vast array of activities including; whale watching, whale eating, kicking stay dogs, billy cart rides on the main road and guided tours of the kings palace to see his majesty patting his toy puppy. Tourist accommodations include; 0.5 star hotels, bunking in with the stray dogs or sleeping on a woven mat on the floor... possibly with one of the friendly strays.
[edit] Economy
The economy of Tonga is very limited, producing only textiles, bananas, and highly deadly contagions for export. Unemployment is a largescale problem, surging up into the 92% range on many occasions, typically after the national holiday, "Wholesale Mass Slaughter of Your Employees Day"(a beloved pastime). The unit of currency is the Tongan Death Grip, which is equivalent to 5 USD, 3 GBP, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Many people don't use the Tongan Death Grip, preferring a much safer method of keeping their money, while at the same time retaining blood flow through their arteries.
In recent years the Tongan economy has been boosted by two man piss and poop; the export of the magical "taro" fruit and mystical "Kava" crop. The taro is used by Sumo wrestlers and other giant breeds of super human creature.... such as Tongans... to build strength, muscle and a warm comfy layer of lard. The kava, consumed in liquid form, is used to numb tongue, brain and erectile functioning. Kava has also been used to control population growth for this small island nation.
These "fruits of the gods are alleged to have been a gift from the ancient Egyptians to thank Tongan tribal elders for sending 8 foot tall, 800 pound muscle bound Tongans to build the pyramids and eat any people threatening the Egyptian empire. Many believe that the Egyptians built burial tombs under the pyramids however, these were simply Tongan "umu pits". They used these to cook and eat the associated Egyptian tribe and then respectfully lay their elder to rest above.
To make things short... Tonga is poor poor poor. They're desperate for tourists DESPERATEEE!!!!... and fish.
[edit] Gub'mint
The government of Tonga is a monarchy, with full judicial, executive, and legislative power resting on people's wang's, Charles Barkley, of the fifth dynasty. Currently, however, the government is in upheaval, with civil unrest brewing all throughout the nation. Many local politicians and social leaders are calling for the king to abdicate his throne to his son, Scott Baio.
| Commonwealth of Independent Nations |
| In order of importance Britain ~ Oz ~ Canada ~ Canadia ~ Sarrff Affrikka ~ East Indies / West Indies ~ Kittenolivia ~ Cyprus ~ Bangladesh ~ Kenya ~ Dodoland ~ Seychelles ~ Paradise ~ Terrorist Country ~ Singapore ~ Hell ~ Barbados ~ Can or not? ~ Duchy of Björk ~ Semen ~ Sierra Leone ~ Foriegn Barsturds ~ More Foreign Barsturds ~ Even More Foreign Bastards ~ America (we wish) ~ United Kingdom of America ~ United Kingdom ~ United States of America ~ Great Britain ~ Britain ~ Naziland ~ Tease ~ Tonga ~ Those F***ers ~ Morley ~ Cat-Lovers ~ China ~ The Lost Continent ~ Mugabeland ~ Another Mugabeland ~ Kentuckistan |
