Tony Soprano

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Tony Soprano.

Tony Soprano or GRAND MAFIOSO DON OF NEW JERSEY is the current King of New Jersey. He is the guy whose psychologist got rabies. His dog tried to kill him once, so he fucked a three-legged russian girl. Although he paints a lot, Tony likes to grab people's balls for insulting his girlfriends.

[edit] Biography

Tony also had bizarre sex with his therapist, but nobody cares.

Tony was born to The Sopranos family in 1999 while seeing his dad chop off someone's finger. Nonetheless, despite killing colleagues and foes at the drop of a hat, he's technically not a serial killer. His wife keeps a house that would make Crystal Carrington green with envy and inkeeping with the highly unrealistic Dynasty, neither Carmela or Meadow, his daughter, ever have a hair out of place. His sister however is realistically, depressingly ugly. The casting is a little off key. His daughter is played by a Jewish actress and his son looks Irish and not remotely Italian. The Consiglieri is played by Steve Van Zandt of E Street Band fame. Tony's protoge Chris Moltisanti, the human concorde, is played by the same actor who gets wacked by Joe Pesci's character in Goodfellas. Tony paints tainted saints a lot, maybe because his priest sat on his wife. He make lot of sex, including in the zoo with Gloria Trillo and in the pool with his wife.

After he killed a big pussy for shitting on him, Tony developed a fetish for fishes and whorses. He also killed a man over easy and tickled Steve Buscemi's toes. His uncle got his hand stuck inside the shrink.

When Tony found that one of his men was having an affair with a gay fireman he shot the both of them in the middle of a romantic candle light dinner.

Tony is secretly that fucker Marv Albert hiding from Joe Gibbs.

At the end of the series, he forgot to pay the electric bill and the lights went out, while shouting, FUCKING NIGGER FUCKERS FUCKING MY ASS!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU three 6 MAFIA aND YOUR NIGGER OSCAR TOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!alla.

This article is complete, irredeemable lockpick. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, and suffocates at the spleen. If you attempt to dance this, you will most affably program Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will anglicise your paedophile!!!!!!