Top 100 ways to die

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40. Ways to Die (Best)
39. Ways to Die (Worst)
38. Ways to Start a Novel
37. Ways to Win an Argument
36. Wonders of the World

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Death. With taxes and The Sims expansion packs, it is one of the three things we are guaranteed in life. Every man dies, so a fair goal should be to have the best possible death. Here is a list of the Top 100 ways to die.

Contents: 100-91 • 90-81 • 80-71 • 70-61 • 60-51 • 50-41 • 40-31 • 30-21 • 20-11 • 10-1

[edit] 100-91

You heard me! I didn't stutter!

100. Editing the Wiki Uncyclopedia: "o my there going to love this change.."

99. Getting in a gunfight with the Vice President: Although history says you'll win.

98. Snakes on a plane: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THESE MUTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' PLANE!

97. Brutes on a Plane: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THESE MUTHAFUCKIN' COVENANT ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' PLANE!

96. Putting your hand in the toaster, and then forgetting about it: Opening the butter is hard with only one hand.

95. Byaaaaaah! to death: Cause that's what Howard Dean would've wanted.

94. Driving on the left side of a "Keep Right" sign: Didn't teach ya that one in Driver's Ed, did they?

93. Popups: You accidentally clicked OK on the "Click here to claim a free death" browser popup.

92. Kitten huffing overdose: Die with a mouthful of pussy...cat.

91. Grue: Mention those fucking Euroipods ever again and a Grue is gonna fuck you up and EAT YA!

fghjdghjfykgfumighukhjuhlitjgkigkkhjkgj009076654ILIKEFISHLULZEZ!!!@!@!!@!@!1!!11!ONE!. Dying by not dying: Try wrapping your head around that one!

[edit] 90-81

90. Cannibalistic Vegetarians: Lying bastards!!!

89. Vegetarian Cannibals: Extreme right-wing faction of those lying bastards!!!

The TARDIS.

88. Telefragged by the TARDIS: The Doctor can't park for shit.

87. Running with scissors: Die a rebel's death.

86. A Black Hole (RASCIST!!): Africa's a dangerous place these days.

85. eDonkey2000: Receive a kick to the face from 2000 electronic donkeys.

84. Falling Piano: Destroying an antique musical instrument is a crime punishable by death.

83. The funny looking guys with the shock sticks: They've taken all our water!

82. The Boogie: Don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the boogie.

81. A balanced diet: Watch out, food pyramids are pointy. Pointy and sharp.

[edit] 80-71

80. Fighting someone else's war: At least you...no, that sucks.

79. Hit by a runaway train: Give those cleanup crews a fun time.

78. Pumice enema: Smooth move, Jethro.

77. Mooning a British Royal Guard: HEY! Whatever happened to stonefaced?

see "Caddyshack"

76. Exterminating gophers from a golf course with dynamite: Be prepared for retaliation.

75. Car Crash: What? That's lame! What I meant to say was a car crash in Space.

74. Having your head smashed in with a Fender Stratocaster guitar wielded by Kurt Cobain.: That would ROCK!

73. Dying at a rock concert: Lots of ways to go out at those places, take your pick.

72. Drowning in your own puke(*cough*JimiHendrix*cough): Wow, that must be a lot of puke.

71. Potato Chopping accident: No Latkas for you!

[edit] 70-61

70. Neon signs: Mmmm...juicy.

69. Needlestick injury: What are the odds of dying in a haystack?

68. Electric Soldier Porygon: Yibbiblahbleberlblerh.

67. Deja-vu: Wholly shite!

66. Deja Vu: Holy shit!

65. Saving Private Ryan: FUBAR! FUBAR I say!

64. Mailing an envelope with no stamp: So that's why the postie went crazy...

63. Eaten by a VCR: They're only supposed to eat bread...

62. Landmine hopscotch: It's a blast!

61. (Females only) - Parasites: Getting a tick in your box.

[edit] 60-51

60. When this baby hits 88 miles an hour, you're gonna see some serious shit: The Libyans! AHHHHHHHH!

59. Getting baked: And not the good kind of baked either.

58. Duelling a Jedi: He summoned his master's lightsaber and sliced you in half (That's gonna hurt in the morning).

57. Stupid Idea: NO SHUT UP! THAT IDEA SUCKS!

56. Barrel Rolling: The spinning just won't stop!

55. Advanced case of Boogie Fever: Symptoms include spasms, foaming at the mouth, and explosive, spontaneous ejaculation resulting in 80% mortality rate.

54. Bobbing for piranhas: It's the snack that bites back.

53. On your wedding day: "Till death do you part." Isn't it ironic?

52. Waking Cthulhu: "Did you cause the Apocalypse again?"

51. Vomitorium Attendant: ... at Oktoberfest.

[edit] 50-41

50. Swimming in vodka, then setting yourself on fire: The tricky part is turning fire on while drunk.

49. Parasites: There's nothing like the simple joys of being eaten alive from the inside out.

48. Not wearing a space suit: Cause all the kids wanna hear about the corpse on the moon.

47. Starvation: Hollywood celebrities + Africa = Cool way to die.

46. Corn: Man: What a corny way to die!; Man is consumed and killed by corn

45. Shakespeare: Statistically, this affects high school students the most, because after high school no one reads Shakespeare.

44. Sticking your head in a microwave: Hint: It's a lot like putting a tomato in the microwave. Go ahead, try it!

43. Hit in the face with a microphone: Talking about my major bruising.

42. Beaten to death for being white & nerdy: Even if you can memorize Pi to 1000 places.

41. Singing: That last G is a killer, dude.; dying while listening to some crunk

[edit] 40-31

40. Nazi death camp: If all those Jews did it, it must be cool.

39.5 Clubbed to death by a Kitten Huffer: Do I need to explain

39. Being covered in gold paint: Mmmm...shiny.

38. A Sniper: Who doesn't just wanna drop like a fly one day while walking down the street?

The criminals do it, why can't he?

37. Getting tag teamed by Superman and Batman: "Oh Em Gee! What a spiffy way to shuffle off the mortal coil!"

36. Steal a F-14 Tomcat: I feel the Need, The Need for >BOOM<.

35.5. Steal a Gravity Hammer: What's that beeping noise?

35. Feeling Lucky: Well do yah, punk?

34. Suppository C-4: Although you'll be forever commemorated in that Jackass movie you were making.

I guess he just missed all the signs.

33. Driving over the unfinished portion of a bridge: Lose your glasses, Gramps?

32. Paying for a television with cheddar on a Tuesday, in Sweden: Those crazy Swedes will use anything as an excuse, eh?

31. George Foreman Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Killing Machine: Knock out ALL the fat!

[edit] 30-21

30. Gunned down by a plane in a corn field: The free popcorn alone is worth it.

29. A Fecal lattè: Good Lord, a what?

28. Vengeful war movie nutcase shooting spree: "CHARLIE! THEY KILLED CHARLIE! THOSE BASTARDS ARE GONNA PAY!"

27.5. Hanging, drawing and quartering yourself: Not actually part of this list, since most lists stick to whole numbers.

27. Celebrating your 21st birthday with 21 of anything on the menu: So long as it's a bar. That is unless you order cranberry juice. What, are you having your period?

26. Stay behind and fight the zombies so the others can go ahead: ...that was a bright move, Sparky...

25. Coke and pop rocks: Mikey likes LIFE, and loses it.

24. My name is Inigo Montoya: You killed my father. Prepare to die.

23. Ninjas: Thousands of them.

22. Being German: For more details view Biggles.

21. Suicide: It's your way of telling God "You can't fire me, I quit!"

[edit] 20-11

20. Ripping your own brain stem out: Showoff.

19. The Truth Pole: I don't want to get into details, but it involves a big metal pole, your ass, and your own body weight.

18. Getting your hand caught in the teeth of a combine harvester: That's the way I want to go.

17. Boredom: "So, gentlemen, what do we do now?"; "We die."

16. Method acting: Make the death scene a memorable one.

15. Arsenic: "Mmmm, tastes like almonds!"

14. An erection lasting more than four hours: "You'd have been fine if you'd just gone to the freaking hospital."

13. Hemlock: Random Greek Guy: Is ingesting hemlock a good way to die?; Socrates: What do you think?

12. Being covered with tuna and thrown into a pit of hungry kittens: Aw, they're so cu-AAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!

11. Mayonnaise inhalation: It can be deadly in large quantities.

[edit] 10-0

10. Killed by a jealous lover

Yes, you read that right.

(note, this method is only available to individuals who are involved in two or more sexual relationships, in which case maybe you don't want to die.)