Transvestite

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

The author of this article doesn't care at all if you edit it, and heck your stuff is probably funnier than mine.

“My mornings just aren’t complete without a quick drag on a transvestite.”

~ Oscar Wilde on transvestites

“If you're giving a "woman" a reach-around, you're probably doing something wrong.”

~ Scott the Tranny on anatomy

“In Soviet Russia, women do YOU!!”

~ Russia on Russian Women

“Dude looks like a lady!”

~ Steven Tyler on Transvestites

“Fatty's can find love with them, ask Dillby”

~ Corey Beutish on Transvestites----A transvestite is a geological formation, similar to a stalegtite, which resembles a vest. A less common usage of the word denotes a mad bastard who is sexually attracted to his mum.

1 Origin of the term
2 Transvestitism traits
3 Confirmed transvestites
4 Suspected transvestites
5 Individuals with a disturbing attraction to transvestites
6 Individuals exempt from transvestitism
7 Action Transvestites
8 See Also

[edit] Origin of the term

Though the concept of wearing the clothing of the opposite gender had long been practiced by the English (for the theatre) and the Scottish (for daily life), as a term transvestite originated from the person called Shalika, who happens to be a big fat hippo transvestite herself. Hence why the the phrase, "Shalika, more than meets the eye" came into play.

There really is more than meets the eye.

Some Asians make good transvestites.

After arriving on Earth some of their camp became obsessed with the 'pretty' human women and began wearing skimpy vests and mincing about in an extremely clumsy manner (a trait later made famous by their banished former leader Ellen DeGeneres).The term thus springs from a merger of the words trans (as in transformer), vest (as in the article of clothing), and ite (as in a social climber).Occasionally, a Transvestite is known as a "Trap." This usage can be traced back to Admiral Ackbar's Feb 29 1997 declaration of "It's a Trap!"

[edit] Transvestitism traits

Some transvestites are very convincing

According to the Bureau of Utter Bullshit 0.1% of the Norwegian population are transvestites. However, it is worth noting that the reasons for an individuals draw to this state can vary immensely. The following are the most commonly cited reasons given:* Personal comfort* Sexual arousal* Drunkenness* Constant diarrheaBeing a transvestite is a one way ticket to hell. And it's gross, I mean, can't you be happy with your gender? Kill a transvestite if you see one. Nah. Just kidding. Nah. Just kidding.Despite public opinion there are no direct links between transvestitism and homosexuality. However, obvious links exist between transvestitism and communism… Ronald Reagan said so.

[edit] Confirmed transvestites

Hollywood’s famous leading lady Nick Nolte

This guy just has to be a transvestite

* J. Edgar Hoover: renowned male transvestite* Elton John: renowned female transvestite* Margaret Thatcher: owned male transvestite* Ellen DeGeneres: renowned male transvestite* Katie Holmes: award-winning transvestite, direction unknown* Nick Nolte: an extremely unconvincing male transvestite* Pete Burns: can't decide, but here for completeness* Jeremy Clarkson: tries too hard to wear his hair in a perm like your granny.* Rona Ambrose: renowned Canadian political male transvestite* Wikipedia Admins== Famous Transvestites ==*Madonna, The God-dess and mother of all of'em*Mr. T, there's a rumour that he's the fusion between Venus and Serena Williams.*Tori Amos*Oscar Wilde*Björk*Carson Kressley, some say that he's actually a woman*Sandra Bullock, oh...wait! She's a trannie!*Pope Benedict*Alf*Robin*Dennis Rodman, oooops...I forgot it! another trannie, sorry!*Queen Latifah*France*RuPaul*Wikipedia

[edit] Suspected transvestites

David Beckham: source of the transvestite phrase "bends it like Beckham"* Rosie O'Donnell: suspected male transvestite* Axl Rose: suspected female transvestite* Benjamin Harrison: quite probably the first female President* Fabio: the world’s most unconvincing male*Ann Coulter: suspected satanic transvestite* Jenny: pinko fag sellout who works at some bookstore in Saskatoon

[edit] Individuals with a disturbing attraction to transvestites

Bill Clinton: to be fair, he is attracted to anything with a pulse* Lord Byron: predisposed to females pretending to be males

[edit] Individuals exempt from transvestitism

Some people, for one reason or another, are categorically unable to pass as a transvestite:* Michael Jackson: is not androgynous* Marilyn Manson: plastic surgery has made this individual androgynous* Ellen degeneres:ha!, i scared you for a second,she still is a trannie

[edit] Action Transvestites

Eddie Izzard - Pioneer in Action Transvestitism

[edit] See Also

[ v • d • e ]

Ancient Gods of the Greek mythology ( also known as the Christ family )

                                          Chaos═╤═Chaos
                                            ┌───┴───┐
                                           Amor═╤═Gaea
                                                │
                                         ┌───Oranos═╤═Gaea
                                         │          │     
                                         │     ┌────┴────┐
                                         │    Zeus══╤══Kronos 
                                         │   Chaos══╪══Mewtwo
                                   Aphrodite/Venus══╪══Oscar Wilde (see here)
                                                    │
                                      ┌─────────────┴────────────────────────────┐
                                      │                                          │
                                      │                                        Clam
                                      │                             Aphrodite════╪════Hermes
                                      │                                          │
                                      │                                 ┌──Hermaphrodite
            ┌──────┬────────────┬─────┴───┬──────────────┬──────────────┤           ├───────────┐
            │      │            │         │              │              │           │           │
          Sonic  Zeus════╤════Hera══╤══This Guy═╤═J. Neutron═╤═Fairy Godmother    Wyatt══╤══Poseidon
                         │          │           │            │             │             │
       ┌────────┬────────┴───┐      │           └────┐       │       Carl Sagan═══╤═══Anonymous 
       │        │            │      │                │       │                    │
   Pacman══╤══Mr. Love══╤══Hermes   ├───Antithe Tinkerbell  God═════╤════Virgin Mary═══╤═══Chronos
   │       │            │           ├───Athe                        │                  │
Mothra═╤═Oscar Wilde  Peter Pan─────┼───Pan                   Original Jesus═══╤═══Mary Magdalene
   ┌───┴────┬──────┬─────┐          └───Peter Griffin                          │
   │        │      │     │                  │                                  │
   │     PS Man Cecil Gene Ray              │               ...and we all know what happened next
   │        │      │     │                  │
Godzilla═╤═Google  │  Goa Tse═══════╤═══Your Mom                  
         │         │                │
Mozilla Firefox═╤═Mew          ┌────┴─────┐
                │              │          │
             Mewtwo            │     Transvesta
                               │          │
                               │      Splenda═╤═Wilford Brimley            
                               │              │                
                       ...And you...          │
                                         ┌────┴─────┐                          │  
                                   Diabeetis       Meow Mix                cheating