Tulsa, Oklahoma

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“D.C., San Antone And the Liberty Town, Boston and-a Baton Rouge. Tulsa, Austin, oklahoma City, Seattle, San Fransisco Too...”

~ Oscar Wilde on Tulsa, on his Tour of the United States

[edit] Interesting Facts of Tulsa

1. Tulsa spelled backwards is "A-SLUT".
2. Osama Bin Laden attended High School in Tulsa.
3. Tulsans pick there nose more than any other city in the nation.
4. The KKK (Klu Klux Klan) holds there weekly meetings in Tulsa. (every wednesday, refreshments are served, and EVERYONE is welcomed. At the Tulsa Convention Center)
5. Tulsa holds Black Panther meetings weekly. (every Thursday, refreshments are served, and EVERYONE is welcomed. At the Tulsa Convention Center.)
6. Tulsa host race riots weekly. (every Friday, refreshments are served, and EVERYONE is welcomed. At the Tulsa Convention Center. NOTE: weapons are not provided, must bring your on.)
7. Tulsans have the largest penises in the Western Hemisphere (measured in cm).
8. The Golden Driller is rumored to be modeled off of Richard Roberts favorite tearoom trick

Tulsa is the Paris of cities, literally, as Tulsa annexed the bulk of Greater Paris during the Franco-American Police Action of the early 2040's. It is also the largest city in the Republic of Oklahoma Land, mostly because of the enormous farms where humans are grown for fertilizer.

It lies on the border between Oklahoma and Illinois, along the Oklassippi River, and has an Arctic-Tropical climate. With a population of more than Pi, multiplied by a googleplex] and divided by 14, so, about 35. The jewled chewy center of America's sex tourism industry, residents of Tulsa prefer to be referred to as Tulsites, or during Christmas, Tulsanadians. Most Tulsites prefer to be known in public by their mother's maiden names. Tulsa is the home of the Baseball, Rock 'N Roll and Booty Call Halls of Fame, and lost its virginity when it was 30.

[edit] History

Tulsa's 'Emerald City', home of Tulsa's world renowned "Little Tulsa" Community of immigrants from Tulsa.

Tulsa was founded by retired police officers/Vietnam vets from Los Angeles in the early 22nd century, and has been traveling backwards through time ever since. Tulsa's current present day is August 1996, so visitors are encouraged to avoid letting them know about the past, as it might spoil the surprise. For best results, use chloroform on any tulsan near you if you accidentally forget this suggestion - Thanks to effects of revese time travel, Tulsites are famous for their congenital brain damage and probably won't even notice.

In 2010, the first year surviving records are available, Tulsa appeared to be suffering the effects of nuclear fallout, but that was later found to be nothing more than premature baldness. To cope with this malady, all Tulsans wear pandas on their heads to mask their shame.

[edit] Culture

Tulsa has a famed palindrome, A SLUT NIXES SEX IN TULSA.

Not every city has its very own tame pet palindrome. Once a year, the mayor harnesses up the palindrome and rides it through the midway at the state fair, and a good time is had by all (except the palindrome, which exists in a perpetual state of confusion, since it doesn't know whether it is coming or going).

[edit] Tulsa Race Riot

Tulsa host its annual race riots,weekly. This is a common attraction for the Tulsa area. Race riots normally start by either...

1. An white man saying "Aye Boy"
2. An white man saying "nigger"
3. An black man stealing from a Korean owned grocery store.
4. An mexican hiding in the back of a trunk. (illegal mexican)
5. An black man "making it rain".
6. An black man looking at an white females ass.
7. An white hockey player hitting around a black hockey puck.
8. An black student actually coming to school.
9. An white man listening to rap. (espcially Lil Wayne)
10. An white man "ghost ridin" in "da hood". (North Tulsa is commonly known as "da hood")

The Tulsa Race Riot, also known as the 1921 Race Riot, The Night That Tulsa Was Born, the Tulsa Race War, or the Greenwood Riot, was a large-scale civil beating confined mainly to the racially segregated Greenwood neighborhood of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA in 1921. During the 16 hours of rioting, over 800 people were admitted to local hospitals with injuries, an estimated 10,000 were left homeless (90% of those were black), 35 city blocks composed of 1,256 residences were destroyed by fire, and $1.8 million (nearly $17 million after adjustment for inflation) in property damage.

Officially, thirty-nine people were reported killed in the riot, of whom 10 were white. The actual number of black citizens killed as a result of the riot was estimated in the Red Cross report[1][2] at around 300; making the Tulsa Race Riot Round 1 the BEST in US history. Other estimates range as high as 3,000, based on the number of grave diggers and other circumstances, although the archaeological and forensic work needed to confirm the number of dead has not been performed[3]. Tulsa saw huge profit after the Race Riot of 1921, and decided to host race riots weekly. The KKK lines up on the south side, and the Black Panthers line up on the North Side. (Hispanic leaders are urging for a spot in the riot.)