Tuna
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Tuna is considered to be the most intelligentest fish in the world, having an IQ of one for founding the School of Fish some 300,000 centuries ago. This school turned out to be a bad idea because of the tuna staff's inability to use a blackboard from having no arms and hands. Another reason for the school being a bad idea is the lack of education, causing all fish to lack intelligence. This is the reason why so many fish end up being caught in nets and on fishing lines by humans.
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[edit] Human Usages of Tuna
[edit] Tuna in the Middle Ages
Tuna was first used as a weapon in the 1500's by medieval knights, and were used to knock their enemies off their horses during battle and beat them over the head before slapping it across the face of the horse. Approximately 700,000 men and 700,000 horses were killed from being beaten up by tuna, proving that the tuna is mightier than the sword. Gunpowder was later invented by Vietnamese cannibals who went to England and had a huge feast. This is the first known time that tuna has been used as food.
The method of killing someone by beating them over the head with a tuna still applies in modern culture, generally in fish markets where workers end up driven completely insane by their employer or a dissatisfied customer.
[edit] Tuna in the Second World War
Tuna was used in World War II by US and British military personnel for killing village people by being dropped from military aircraft. This was successful in some cultures, but not in others, such as the Vietnamese cannibals who used cannonballs to shoot all the tunas before they hit the ground. They then shot the planes down because their dinner (the pilots) were in the plane.
[edit] Tuna Tossing
Tuna tossing is a sport which was first played around 200AD in the Athens Olympics as an alternative to shotput. The furtherest throw on record was thrown by American tuna tossing champion C. J. Hunter in the 1980 Summer Olympics in Russia, and was thrown about 25km. The fish, however, never really made it to the ground. It was found lodged in the fan disc in the engine of an airliner in Bangkok. This came as a huge shock to the aviation industry and international troops were sent out to resolve the problem of 'flying tuna'. After months of searching, no tunas were found anywhere in the skies, and it was later discovered by aviation professor Al Titude that the fish was involved in a tuna tossing contest. Tuna tossing has since been banned worldwide.
Another reason for this ban is that a man once saw a tuna tossing itself. The sight was so terrifying, he instantly caught noname cancer. There have only been two reported cases of the noname cancer, making this one of the rarest cancers in world history. The other case, however, was inflicted on Bob Marley for being too good at singing.
[edit] King Tubsy
King Tubsy the third was a brave example of a perfect tuna. Defeating mass armies of plankton invading his homeland, he was declared the most honorable tuna in the history of milk. King Tubsy was known as a kind tuna, always willing to help. Thus, when a young swordfish asked for some advice on starfish care, he had him beheaded. Tubsy died in 1576, at the age of twelve thousand and nine, from a vicious attack by a pack of wild sea horses.
