Turban

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Wearing a turban for too long can cause chronic squinting in white people.

A turban is a headdress, usually for males. Within Islam, the appropriate punishment for a woman who wears a turban is stoning to death while wearing a turban of stones. More tolerant cultures would simply find the practice strange. In contrast, Jews are known to almost never wear turbans, preferring skull caps or brightly colored mandatory hats. Turbans have recently become more popular in the Muslim community as they are invaluable for storing bombs. The Danish press released illustrated diagrams of how to tie a bomb within a turban, which inadvertently angered Muslims worldwide as it 'gave their game away' and foiled many future plans to perpetrate terrorist atrocities using turban bombs. Turban bombs have a devastating effect when used. They are a thousand times more effective than atomic bombs, as they not only contain the bomb, but also a pungent/smelly/poisonous gas which poisons people over the course of a few years. Most Muslims, particularly those who are not religiously in-charge or are peaceful, do not wear turbans, but many angry Americans assume Sikhs to be Muslims and bash them because they associate turbans with Osama bin Laden. Little do they know, it was his plan all along to indirectly cause Sikhs to be bashed.

Usually the person wearing the turban smells real bad. The odor is like a mix of curry, sweat, diarrhea, garlic, smoke, fat kid's fart, and an old rotton kielbasa. It is common for turban-wearers to place eggs and lemons in their turban to keep it fresh, similar to an air freshener. This helps them bear with the scent.