Tuxedo
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Today, we think of the tuxedo as refined evening wear for special occasions. In reality, the tuxedo stands for something much deeper, but slightly less fashionable.
[edit] History
In the early 20th century, it was common for young jazz musicians to nervously anticipate performances. To reduce anxiety before the show, experienced musicians would frequently invite the younger ones to put together their instruments, play a few scales, mount their horses, and engage in a ritual group hunt to clear their heads, called a tuxedo. A successful tuxedo would calm their nerves, and allow them to play better in the performance. After hunting, musicians would return to the concert garbed in the pelts of their blood-drenched kills with raised spirits. Incidentally, penguins happen to be easy to kill, and were sought after by most hunters.
[edit] Details
A typical tuxedo would begin with all the musicians on horse-back rallying around a large fire in an effort to warm up. After a minute or so of idle talk, the team of riders would parade out in unison, in search of game. Occasionally, one rider would pull ahead of the rest, and spend 8 to 16 measures soloing in a key of their choice. Then the penguin hunt would resume.
While hunting, a rider will utilize any and everything his environment provides. This involves thinking on one's feet, and actively improvising. Hunters may use something as simple as a chord, with which they are able to strangle the animal. Onlookers are often impressed with the rider's ability to make it up as they go along.
After each kill, the riders have a celebratory jam session, in which they place the innards of their kills in jars of preserves to later spread on toast. The hide of the penguin is carefully removed, and stretched/stapled to cover the musician's body. Musicians may or may not then fashion buttons and matching shoes to their outfit, in a barberic display of musicianship and classiness.
[edit] The Decline of Tuxedos
Before long, the public began to adopt the idea that a tuxedo was less of a ritual, and more of a two-piece suit. Naturally, prominent jazz elders resented the belittling of their sacred practices, and were reluctant to perform in public. This, along with the 1945 Penguin Protection Act, which relocated the now-endangered species of penguins to a reservation on Antarctica, was the end of the Jazz Era.
Today, many people respect the practice of tuxedo by adorning a replica cloth penguin hide on special occasions. Unfortunately, meeting with other musicians and holding a tuxedo is against the law, so they're left without their tradition, and must face the slight discomfort of public performance on their own.
Alan Driscoll, lead singer of techno band thewomb, dons a tuxedo for the part of their stage act when they sing 'Mr Bean (Done Rape A Girl)'.
