UFO
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“What'chu know bout UFO's?! â€
~ Robert Allen on UFO's
“I ate one...â€
~ Gluttony
“In Soviet Russia, FO comes before U!!''â€
“Is mommy finally back to get me?â€
~ Ryan Seacrest on seeing a UFO
UFO, the awesome and catchy slogan/acronym for the United Federation of Outness, is recognised world-wide as a symbol of hope and poffyness for the gay community.
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[edit] Background
From its top secret base, codenamed The Closet, UFO attempts to confront and address serious issues of concern to bummer-boys the World over. Having issued declarations regarding the subject matter of what not to wear on a first date, what looks cute with pink boots and what will not fit up there, UFO continues its work to promote campness and fabulousness. A declaration normally passes when 4 of the 5 queens on the bender council issue affirmative votes. Should there be a minority opinion, that queen is demoted to Diva status and is henceforth considered 'such a bitch'.
[edit] Camp Contoversy
There are currently 2 political factions within UFO. The Butch are ideologically opposed to all things poofy. Rather than mincing around with a boyfriend named Chantelle or Jean-phillipe, these 'blokes' prefer muscles, chest hair and rough-love. Holding the opinion that Elton John is the devil and that George Michael is smoldering with stubble, this niche group remains firm and confident in the political, bedroom and public toilet circles. The opposing ideology, known as the lovely lads, embrace all things camp and tight around the waist (as long as the colours don't clash - nightmare!). Formed by Liberace and Freddy Mercury these sensitive yet outgoing lady-boys love nothing more than having perfect hair and bitching about what Gerald was doing with Andre at brunch yesterday. I mean he can be such a slut! You've gotta see this, a real ufo sightnig.
[edit] Alliance with LSD
The Alliance with LSD (Lesbians, Sex maniacs and Dykes) has been stable for several years mainly due to the help the girls receive with their hair and make-up and the ability of the poofs to bitch about someone elses poor taste in shoes. The only hitch occurred when it turned out that Jason was only pretending to be gay to watch the girls undress. What a bitch!
[edit] Funding
Despite vast membership drives (meet at 7pm in the toilets near Gucci) UFO requires a serious injection of funds into their (bums?) enterprise. Having received very generous donations from the Oscar Wilde society and the government of Holland, the Bender Council convinced itself to have enoungh ass(ets) to purchase a substantial amount of lubricant and salad dressing. However, Jeremy (the accountant with the perfectly formed cheek bones and buttocks) decided that the Bender Council was not acting in the best interests of UFO. He then bought the entire Sex and the City box-set putting UFO into £44.00 of debt.
[edit] The Willy Wars saga
Several years ago, in an attempt to increase it's perception among us normal hetro/metro/pedro/jefrosexuals, UFO began to produce the WIlly Wars saga. This was the most expensive gay porn film ever produced and was an immediate bum-office smash. To this day the vast majority of people can recite it's most famous line: 'How many cocks are in my anus, Amos?' A popular family film, it contained numerous catchy songs such as 'Can you feel my cock tonight?' (Elton John), 'King of the swingers' (Maurice Mouthfull) and 'Squeeze your balls into my bum' (Eminem). Many conspiracy theories circulated regarding the on-set demise of the famous gay porn star, P. McClelland. The post-mortem exam revealed that 15 dicks in his mouth, 8 in his ass, 3 up his nose and 2 in each ear was a little too much too handle. It appears that 27 benders jizzing into all your holes at the same time is bad for your health. Famous cameos during the film include the Pope (taking the left nostril), Gollum (many cult fans of the film enjoyed his orgasmic screams of 'presheeeeeouuus'!!!) and NRA president Charlton Heston (if you look closely on the scene with the anal lightsabers you can see him jamming a double barelled shotgun into his ass).
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or, the UFO could mean unidentified flying object that scares the living hell out of people every year.
[edit] UFO theory one: advertising agents for 'the master plan'
McDonald's is turning the solar system into a giant McDonalds restaurant. The UFOs constantly scout the Earth waiting for the poor planet to be turned into a McDonalds sign. Once the planets transformation is complete, the UFOs will travel throughout the MilkyWay and spread the word 'McDonalds is hear, McDonalds is hear'. The Clingons will annilate the Enterprise and Williom Shatner wont save the day. Mcdonald's spokesmen 'officially' oppologises to the human race saying ," you just were'nt meant to last.
[edit] UFO theory two: they are looking for E.T.
The movie was based on a true story but contrary to the movies ending, the retarded UFO crashed a second time but this time in the Amazonian rainforest where that ugly penis shaped alien we call E.T was eaten by cannibals. Joy to the world, E.T is dead. Unfortunately, the movie is only sold on planet Earth, and the UFO's are search aircraft meant to find E.T, where in a thousand years that ugly digested alien will be pronounced dead. Not so fast. ET was indigestable. Like Jonah and the Whale the ET was spat out and it turned out to be none other than Jimbo Wales. Now you know why Jimbo's nick name at school was Mopy Dick!
[edit] UFO theory three: The Greek Connection
It is widely believed within the Greek community that the UFO's are their Gods coming back to reinstate the power once held by the far more superior Ancient Greeks. When Greeks invented the Earth a long time ago, the Gods went back to their planet and left a few thousand Greeks to create civilization. The Ancient Greeks soon became the superior race on Earth, but this was all lost in a game of Scrabble one night in Athens to the Romans. Since then, Greeks have become useless and redundant, and the Gods are coming back to Earth to reinstate the power they once had. ==also see==--71.59.170.253 01:39, 6 October 2007 (UTC) UFC IFC
