Ugly women

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Ugly Women (Skankerous Whorus), often referred to as mingers, are rumoured to be closely related to Homo Sapiens, the dominating monkey and the third most intelligent species on planet Earth (Mice being the most intelligent and dolphins the 2nd). The appearance of ugly women should be considered extremely deceptive once you have reached the bottom of your 6th beer. Proceed with caution.

1 History of Ugly Women
2 The Woman trade
3 Characteristics of an Ugly Woman
4 6 stages of an ugly woman
5 Top 5 Producers of Ugly Women
6 Notable Ugly Women

[edit] History of Ugly Women

"I dare you to show me a dick I wouldn't suck."

Ugly women have existed since the beginning of the human race, cavewomen were all notoriously ugly but that was not a problem considering cavemen were so ugly their heads were completely indistinguishable from their arses. As time passed though the ugly gene has receded, in the late 15th century the majority of the world had rates of 1 ugly women to every 5 births (except Britain which was experiencing rates of 1 ugly women to every 3 births. In the 19th century ugly rates had declined further, the world average was at 1 ugly woman to every 10 births (Britain reaching the 15th century average of 1 in 5) this in turn with the introduction to plastic surgery and the woman trade where attractive women from other countries would be shipped to America to work in films and TV and crap like that while the ugly Americans would be shipped to places like Britain and Russia to do housework.

[edit] The Woman trade

It was agreed in the late 18th century by Europe and America that the woman trade should be introduced to increase an attractive womans chance of success in the world while hiding all the ugly skanks in the world from being seen in case of causing traumatic experiences. This was accomplished by agreeing to send all attractive women from Europe to Hollywood, America for acting, singing or dancing professions or just to marry wealthy businessmen while sending the ugly whores to work at manual labour or to be housewives. This benefitted both continents greatly, America got the image of beauty and successful actresses while European men got to sit on their arses while ugly women did all the work.

[edit] Characteristics of an Ugly Woman

A poor man on seeing an ugly woman

If you hold a mirror in front of them it will break
Looking at one could cause you to asplode
All of her friends suddenly look 10x as attractive
A monobrow
If you tell another man she likes him, he may start to scream uncontrollably
The woman may look like a clown (all the make-up to cover up the ugly)
They have the acute breath of onions, garlic, shite and Tom Cruise combined.
If they look like you
A head shaped roughly the size of a cabbage with large metalic readings in the blood
Causes trainwrecks when trians attempt to run her down and get derailed, also known as Trainwreck

[edit] 6 stages of an ugly woman

Generally an ugly woman will go through the following 6 stages in her life:

Denial-an ugly woman will start off life denying that she is ugly generally because no-one cares, it is usually through pre-adolesence so she does not think about what she looks like and goes through life happily. This stage is likely to last until adolesence.
Anger-The ugly woman is unlikely to accept being ugly and constantly say things like "Why God, why am I so God damned ugly!" (Not that God gives a fuck), this stage will usually involve anger directed at parents, friends and teachers, it is also not helped by PMS. This stage will usually last the first year or 2 of adolesence.
Depression-The ugly woman will then exhibit signs of depression and self-pity, at this point in her life an ugly woman can be highly suicidal and while not a risk to anyone else can leave a nasty mess so suicide should really be avoided. This stage normally lasts through mid-adolesence.
Bargaining-The ugly woman will then attempt to bargain with God himself to make her look beautiful, however as God doesn't give a fuck she really should try bargaining with Satan on the soul market. Upon failure, the ugly woman will try bargaining with the men around her, in an attempt to have them allow her the privilege of committing all manner of unmentionable acts upon them. These men will always say NO. Unless no one is around, in which case they will say YES, and go on to deny everything to their friends. This stage will usually last through late adolesence.
Acceptance-The ugly woman will accept that she is monsterously ugly and live as normal a life as she can, marry a balding fat, sweaty man and just pray her children do not inherit her ugly gene.
Plastic surgery-The ugly woman spends all of her money to become beautiful, of course now they have to sell themselves of the street so they do not starve.