UnBooks:Book of the month/feature

A picture of the author, Henry Petty-Fitzmaurice, no doubt drawn in mid-'hot Japanese girls' fantasising.

Hot Japanese Girls - Colourblind or Unable to Speak English? is a book written by Henry Charles Keith Petty-Fitzmaurice, 5th Marquess of Lansdowne, KG, GCSI, GCMG, GCIE, PC, upon his return from the land of the 'rising sun' in the summer of 1906, an event marked by the signing of the Anglo-Japanese Alliance Treaty. The book brought controversy to both home and abroad (Japan anyway), as it lead to the abrupt end of the treaty, and worse, Petty-Fitzmaurice's promising career in writing, not to mention his marriage.

The book discusses, as in the title, whether attractive Japanese women are colourblind or just can't speak English at all, a question inspired by a meeting with a Japanese female with a particularly confusing item of clothing, a blue top with the words "I ♥ Pink" on the front. The chapters contain a full Japanese experience through the eyes of Petty-Fitzmaurice, during the aforementioned stay in Tokyo in 1906, including saucier Japanese extra-maritial affairs than Lost in Translation.

[edit] Chapter One - An Introduction

As with most girls, a vast majority hot Japanese girls are actually fictional. Anyone familiar with the common memes of Japanese culture (Sushi, seppuku, sex in kimonos) would instantly recognise manga/anime. It is from within this popular Japanese art that 95% of all lonely men in Japan find the girls they want to elope with. Whether they are underage or some kind of hypnotic guardian of tentacle rape or whatever. The other 5% fight hard for the hot Japanese girls who are, in fact, real. They must struggle to even get their attention, as these girls are desperately trying to catch a nice husband from the west.

To even succeed in such a venture, these girls must speak the English. However, some girls may choose to learn whatever English words they see in the Akiba district of Tokyo, or to be even more extreme, simply purchase cute clothing with 'cool' English words on the front.

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