UnBooks: Cannibalism/Recipes

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“Yum, that's delicious, what's in it?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Oscargot

“Divide and conquer!”

~ Dick Cheney on Dick Cheney olive oil surprise

“Hey there little boy! Want a piece of cake?”

~ Michael Jackson on giving a piece of Uncle MJ's kid cake to a random 3 year old he met on the street

An excellent choice for quick and easy to prepare meals.

1 Oscargot
- 1.1 Recipe for Oscargot
- 1.2 Serving suggestions
2 Kim Il Sung Soup
3 Bush Brains
- 3.1 Recipe
- 3.2 Health Risks
4 Dick Cheney olive oil surprise
- 4.1 Recipe
- 4.2 The Surprise

[edit] Oscargot

Oscargot, considered a delicacy by many, is a French dish devised as revenge against Oscar Wilde for usurping one of France's the most prized cultural innovations, namely great fashion sense. That and nobody bothers to translate all his qoutes into French.

[edit] Recipe for Oscargot

Oscar Wilde
1 stick Butter
4 cloves Garlic
800 snail shells

Place Oscar Wilde in a pot of boiling water. Once he is tender, drain, and rub butter and minced garlic all over him. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes. Let cool. Dice Mr. Wilde and place the pieces in the snail shells. Serves 80.

Oscargot has a sharp, cutting flavor, but some find it a bit dry.

[edit] Serving suggestions

Fortune Oscargots

Put your favorite Oscar Wilde quotes on slips of paper, and place one in each oscargot shell. Say "in bed" after reading them.

[edit] Kim Il Sung Soup

Don't let the looks fool you. He's actually a vegetarian.

Kim Il Sung Soup, or, as it is known in its native North Korea, Kim Ir Sung Soup, is a North Korean delicacy considered the most delicious food ever by the population of North Korea. However, it's deliciousness is denyed by the rest of the world.

[edit] Recipe

1 Kim Il Sung
10 cups of water
8 cow pies
1 bean burrito

Dig up the Great Leader. Cut off his fingers. Bring water to a boil. After water boils, put fingers and cow pies in soup, then add burrito for flavoring. Cook for three hours.

[edit] Serving Suggestions

Can be served hot or cold. Both types have their own, specific positive qualities.

The cold soup usually is served with poison, because, after all, revenge is a dish best served cold (HAHAHA!! YA GET IT? HAHA...yea...sorry).
The hot soup is usually served with a baguette. The baguette however is not eaten, the diner is to impale it into his heart.

[edit] Popularity Outside North Korea

This dish is not popular outside of North Korea. It is said to taste worse than a bear's dick.

North Koreans disagree, saying it tastes better than a bear's dick.

[edit] Bush Brains

A similar dish to monkey brains. Not very filling but good for a light snack.

[edit] Recipe

1 George Dubya Bush
A hammer
turkey stuffing

Simply smash the monkey's skull open revealing the brain using the hammer. Then add some turkey stuffing because the brain will be hollow. However it may be empty and the president's head makes a great cup.

[edit] Health Risks

Warning: You may be executed for assassination or smote by Dick Cheney's Sith lightning. Whatever floats your boat.

[edit] Dick Cheney olive oil surprise

Also another name for the black oil, this is a favorite among the indegenious people of hell. This delicacy is secretly fed to the American citizens over the years without them knowing. How? Why else do you think apple jacks don't taste like apples? And don't get me started on those cinnamon swirls in every bite.

[edit] Recipe

1 Demon
2 large vats of olive oil
1 can of cooking oil
50 large vats of real oil
1 gallon of the blood of innocent children

Simple shove the oil and blood down Dick Cheney's ass and shake him for 20 seconds (you may want to put on a hazmat suit). Then microwave the vice president for 4 minutes. After that, when you open the microwave, a moving, living, black substance should fall out of the microwave. There you go, now all you need is a straw! The taste is extremely awful and bitter but you can't stop because the substance will shove itself down your throat.

[edit] The Surprise

After you consumed the dish, you'll feel an odd sensation, following a bunch of miniature Dick Cheneys bursting out of your penis, therefore killing you via blood loss. Yes this happens even if you don't have a penis.