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School Counselor Almost Actually Accomplishes Something
Witchitaw, Wisconsin: In the closest call of the entire decade, school counselor Kate Grimm almost actually accomplished something in the form of rebellious student Mark Hamilton.
For several weeks, Mrs. Grimm talked with Mark Hamilton and lead him into confessing several personal problems that were causing him to act out, such as his parents' recent divorce and his abusive older brother. Mrs. Grimm, with pride, counseled and assisted him through all of his issues, hoping to eventually reach a breakthrough.
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FEATURED STORY
Wall Street Got Drunk!
North (hic) America, Waschington (Hic) DC, UESHA
President Busch, (hic), said at a presh conferense today that Wall Street got drunk (hic) and now haz a hang over. It muzt have been quite a (hic) party! President Busch told the press that they were not (hic) invited and turn off the cameras because it gives him a headache when the (hic) flasch goes off because of all the heavy drinking he did last night. President Busch and Condoleeza Riche (hic) played a game of quarters all night going over those (hic) echonomisch reports.
Luckyly for usch, someone recorded the event with a (hic) cell phone camera and posted it to Youtube and Digg and Reddit. Then da fricking BBC picked it up, and posted it on their web site right before (hic) happy hour when pints are just 2 pound sterlings each.
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NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/14/08
- Pisces (Feb. 19 - March. 19) - The position of Mars renders you the likely victim pirate attacks this week. Carefully guard any grog, wenches, and booty you may have accumulated.
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Two Day Outlook
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a 0% chance of
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showers
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a 1% chance of
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happiness
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no chance of
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tsunamis
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Suggested Recreation
| While there is a 1000% chance of storms
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| Saturday, we suggest nude camping.
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Global Warming Indicator
International Posts
Special Weather Report:
A pack of wild hurricanes were reported to be cited with public intoxication and slamming into continents without a license.
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