UnNews:"Seductive enchantresses" mar end of Notting Hill carnival

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28 August 2007

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NOTTING HILL, UK -- The end of the Notting Hill Carnival was blighted by a group of seductive enchantresses after one man was seduced in broad daylight and two male teenagers suffered suspected "explosive and unexpected orgasms in their pants".

A 14-year-old boy was reportedly ravished by a buxom Amazonian 6 foot woman at the junction of Portnall Road and Harrow Road, Maida Vale, while police found a 17-year-old youth "in an obvious state of sexual exhaustion" after hearing "grunts and howls of erotic abandon" from near Blenheim Crescent in Notting Hill, Scotland Yard said.

Earlier Jon Tentpole, a man in his 20s, was "enchanted" by a group of fiery maidens in Westbourne Park Road. It is thought he may have had intercourse with as many as 20 women in the space of just three minutes.

Mr Tentpole, from his hospital bed, was rather philosophical last night, "it was like somthing from a Carry On film. These buxom women were chasing me relentlessly for hours. In the end I had no choice but to acede to their wanton lust."

Doctors hope the contented smile on Mr Tentpole's face may fade "after a few weeks".