UnNews:"Some standard sandwich-condiments are ungodly," Catholic church claims
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20 February 2007
Washington D.C, Congress met this morning to discuss a new bill that, if passed, will ban the use of mustard on any and all food. "This is an issue of utmost importance to the people of the United States," stated Senator Hagel, "And, until such a time that a resolution can be reached, issues such as stem cell research must be tabled."
Apparently, this all started when a man named Tom Reikov, age 24, declared he had found a reference to Mustard in the Book of Sodom. Finding it in a book so notorious for things deemed uncouth in decent society. Roger Ringer, Chairman of Internal affairs for the Internation Board for the Distribution and Regulation of Mustard Products (IBDRMA), declined to comment on how this decision may affect mustard sales in the US.
Regardless of what decision the US Congress makes, this debate has sparked new interest in so-called "bible bans," igniting a storm of bible-scholars pouring over the bible from start to finish to search for other common toppings like Mayonaise and horse radish.
As of present, the US Congress has reached no consensus on the issue, leaving Mustard-lovers everywhere holding their breath; Mustard companies brace for the worst and prepare to do their business outside of the country. Congress plans to meet again next week to discuss this bill.
