UnNews:50 Cent shot again, still no deaths.

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3 July 2007

Drama today as controversial mumbler 50 Cent was again shot outside his forty million dollar mansion. The hit, called in at a reportedly $190 000 price, was unsuccessful as once again the blight on humanity survived. Initial reports suggested Jesus was the cause for his survival, however on closer inspection the multiple layers of "bling", or childrens feet were to blame. The location of the hitman is unknown, with body parts still touching down up to twenty miles from the mansion. When contacted for a quote, Mr. Cent replied by grunting several times in quick succession, which was translated by his manager as "Mr Cent has nothing to say at this time". Matthew Bellamy has sworn that he will strike again, and it WILL be successful.