UnNews:A.S.S. Eclipse Boondoggle

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3 March 2007

The Uncyc eclipse of May, 2006, was cunningly scheduled to be visible over The City That Never Sleeps at a time when the city would be awake.

(Uncyc Press, Naval Observatory, Washington, BC) Today the American Skywatchers Society announced that they had, once again, scheduled an eclipse of the Moon for a time when most Americans would be asleep.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong," said Tom van Flandern, ex-head of the US Naval Observatory. "When I headed up ASS we tried very hard to get the lunar eclipses scheduled for noon so people could watch them on their lunch break."

Democrats in Congress blamed the snafu on the obstructionism of the Republican minority.

"We need to get this kind of intelligence failure straightened out," said majority leader Nancy Pelosi. "The eclipse scheduling system is broken, and there has been a massive coverup attempting to keep the truth from the American people."

Meanwhile, American and Canadian viewers can expect to have to stay up until well after their normal beddy-bye times in order to see a giant potato in the sky turn russet. In the future, at least one Uncyc reporter -- this one -- hopes that ASS will come clean and stop covering up the crack on their end.