UnNews:About

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

This page is considered a mandatory policy on UnNews, only kidding, but you know... we're here to help! Also, you might be interested in the Policies and guidelines whatever that is...

[edit] About

UNNews is the official news source of the United Nations, providing the latest up-to-the-minute information on international relations between member countries. It is written from a unique PNPOV or "Peacenik Point Of View) which cannonizes our dedication to world Dictatorship peace. [1]

UNews is the world's up-to-the-minute source of embarrassing information about You. As we say here at UNews, "That's what puts the "U" in "News"!!".

UniNews is the official site for news about Unicycles, Unicorns, Unisex, and pretty much anything else that you can care to think of that starts with 'Uni'.

...

OK, well maybe there aren't any sites like those yet, but rest assured that one day there will be. The Internets demand it.

UnNews, on the other hand, is a page dedicated to spreading misinformation and utter lies, such as the claim that scientists discovered the sky is blue. In fact, they did not.

[edit] Journalistic Accuracy

Ok, this isn't really about Accuracy; all you really have to do is sound journalistic, and this means providing dates, locations, quoting people, and presenting facts (or more generally complete lies) in a way that you would expect to hear on your favourite news channel (Fox not included) - for example; "There was a milk truck on the interstate that crashed into a lorry carrying Kellogs Cornflakes, creating a massive wreck and killing everybody, but also making a giant motorway breakfast" ok, see; that is not Journalistic, however, this is;

"Earlier today, a devastating accident occurred between two trucks, with one carrying Milk, and the other, kellogs Cornflakes. The resultant crash caused a wave of devastation, killing everyone caught in the flurry of carnage as a giant stream of breakfast careered down the motorway in a biblical unstoppable torrential flood." this is better, not because it's closer to the truth, but because it's stupidly sensationalist, uses more advanced words, and it sounds even more effective if you speak it, and hell, how else are we going to get people to subscribe to the damn Podcast?!?

Nonetheless, your underlying topic needs to be funny; "Oprah is Hitler" is not funny, neither is "Oprah revealed to be Hitler" although the latter is more appropriate.

You need to come up with something original, and then develop it into a cleverly worded and genuine sounding article. geddit?

[edit] This statement has been alleged to be true, although some have argued that this is in fact false

You see what I did there? good.

UnNews is a place where disinformation and lies rule, but that doesn't mean that nonsense does, and making up stories about Martha Stuart, and the Cat in the Hat (unless it does actually have some well-thought out underlying story) is really, really stupid, and just means that your article will get mercilessly huffed, we're too cool for NRV here... well, ok, we're not, but we usually are.

Also, anything you write or read has the provisional licensing that you and anyone else are fully entitled to print it out, and wipe your backside on it, or distribute it to mislead people... whatever is allowed by the Creative Commons Share-Alike effectively.

[edit] Formatting, Grammar... and How to speak Engrish\Angolish\English

On UnNews, we strive to maintain a level of readability, and we thus ask that you endeavour to adhere to this too; this means that it'd be appreciated if you used proper english and grammar (unless quoting someone in a special way for effect) although if you are quoting someone, then please use italics, or the {{Q}} template please!

I should point out that we are definitely not Wikinews, so if you for some strange reason paste news from there, again, we'll huff it (note, huffing refers to the process of ingesting the article into ones nose such that it no longer exists). Swearwords should only be used if they will enhance the article, and we mean enhance it for everyone, not the kids at your pre-school.

[edit] Dedication

This is dedicated to the guy that invented it... but nobody actually likes him, so who cares

Well, when you say run... it isn't really run particularly effectively, but we have some people who traipse around making sure that everything looks nice, there's some newsreaders floating around somewhere, which is quite handy if you're illiterate, or blind, but probably not so much so if you're deaf...

If your article was huffed... then talk with the person who huffed it, or NRV'd it or whatever, (this does not mean you have a license to say "Fuk j00 prik") but instead to get some constructive feedback!

[edit] Further Information

erm... well, there isn't really a hell of a lot more to say (except for the fact that I'm gay), but I'm sure a few party poopers will add something here. And make no mistakes, there isn't a cabal or anything, so if you do make an article and it isn't any good (and we mean this in a no-good-retarded way) then we're not going to ban you if you're genuinely trying, we're going to ban you if you're genuinely trying and it's annoying us.

But generally speaking, feel free to create anything within reason.