UnNews:Al Qaeda unleashes new wave of suicide bomb implosions
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7 March 2007
THE death toll continues to rise in the heart of Baghdad as an increasing amount of suicide bombers emerge. A new wave of suicide bomb implosions has been unleashed by militants of the notorious terrorist organisation, with the sole intent of taking lives of citizens cooperating with the US. In just one week, the death count has risen to eight, following eight bombings.
Spokesperson for the Al Qaeda network, Furshaat Al Annaan commented that since the investments of terrorist finances into R&D, the implosive bomb has been a runaway success. "It leaves little mess, which is easily cleaned with a hose and shovel. Also there is no implicating evidence, meaning that any deaths following the implosion are a triumph over America."
The idea has been tested multiple times, with militants volunteering to attach single sticks of dynamite to one of their legs. The trials were an obvious success, with soldiers rejoicing as they rolled down the newly-installed wheelchair ramp.
Reports indicate that in the near-future most terrorist activities will be immensely efficient, such as hang-glider hijackings (instead of planes), self-addressed letter bombs, standard grenades (instead of RPGs) and Hyundai's (instead of car-bombs).
