UnNews:Allen headbutts Macaca

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17 August 2006

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Senator Gorilla Allen fatally headbutting spectator Yellow-T-Shirt

REALVIRGINIA, USA -- Senator Gorilla Allen headbutted a white monkey, one among a 100 odd "coloured" people he had been addressing during his political cruise through real America, while regaling voter-spectators with elaborate explanations of Abu-gharib jokes from America's ongoing War on Terra. The spectators did not understand the explanation of the explained jokes but laughed, chortled, passed gas and micturated when senator Gorilla suddenly ran amok and raced towards a yellow t-shirted figure, one white boy named Macaca Smith, standing out of the coloured crowd of Realvirginia and headbutted him -- thus felling him to death. Senator Gorilla did not stop at that. Having headbutted the white&red&yellow t-shirtish viewfinder lad (the lad saw senator Gorilla rush towards him but he saw it through a camera's viewfinder -- he misjudged the distance and couldn't duck in time), he raced madly towards a fat-assed black woman wearing a macaw-plume and raised her skirt to do something horrendously obscene but like a flash the macaw-woman disappeared: leaving the Senator hanging his sorry head in shame. The fat-assed macaw-woman remains untraced (despite all our efforts to contact her) -- bystanders claim she evaporated/sublimated in fright on site.

Senator Gorilla expressing disappointment and levelling charges of racism against the opposition-party-inclined media for intentionally misspelling his name Godzilla to stand for a French speaking primate, "Some Gorilla" from North Africa.

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A hue and cry followed the event. When queried, Senator Gorilla clarified, "I got really frustrated with the racist attitudes of really rural america. I really never -- really! I really mean that, ok! -- expected this in virgin America. I wanted to bang my head against a wall. This white dude in a yellow shirt looked like a wall to me. I didn't know what "yellow" actually meant. I thought it meant "blue" -- at least that's what my mom told me. Well, maybe she was color-blind but it was never my intention to insult colors. I realized this soon enough when i saw two black buttocks shimmer in my line of vision. I ran towards them but they disappeared. I swear those were yellow walls -- but, of course, I now have no proof."

The video and audio were instantly telecast and within hours they became a controversy. Some real virgins from North America demanded an immediate apology from the media for having misspelled Senator "Godzilla's" name as "Gorilla." But, all acknowledged, it was too late to change Google's cached memory. The media was quickly forgiven. Later in the day, Senator Godzilla issued a press notice blaming his North African mama for having named him so ambiguously androgynous and hypocrticalistically opportunistic with a rurally exploiting proclivititty for divisively digusting people to narrow racistic end with moneys full of pockets laughing to the bank of embezzeled laundryificating dollars ishtolen from realistic innocent people with no brains or times to but laugh at racistic jokes-are-us.