UnNews:America seeks return to British rule

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11 July 2008

This article or section may be Overly British. Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Canadians and Australians may not understand anything at all. Don't change a thing to remedy this.

President George W. Bush shortly after announcing the decision.

The current scope of British influence in the globe, but not for long...

A movement is currently afoot in the American Senate in Washington D.C. to seek a return to provincial status under the British Empire, a report stated earlier today.

It was decided in a unanimous vote last Thursday (or, for pedantic old farts, July 3) that America had fucked things up once too often, and that it was now time for somebody else to take the blame.

At a press conference on Thursday 3rd July, President George W. Bush told members of the Press:

“The American people have long said that this country has been in deep shit, and it is now clear to us why that is. Had we not been so foolhardy in the American Revolution, then we would not be the scapegoat of the world. It is time for America to return to her rightful place, and to allow some other douchebag to be the fallguy for once.”

~ George W. Bush

Current Anglo-American relations have been tense following the great Uncyclopedia Scandals of 2007, in which the UK branch of Fox Bros. Network was sued for falsely announcing the deaths of movie starlets Slappy Squirrel and Lola Bunny of Slappy's Angels fame. However, the move for British rule to return to the Americas has been received warmly. A spokesperson for the United Kingdom said:

“Well, it's about time they got that in their heads! We Brits have been telling them since 1776 that it's all been a big mistake, but it's taken them 232 years to realise it.”

~ Danger Mouse

The new administration will come into force by 2009, proposed to be entitled the United Kingdom of America. The current organisation overseeing operations in the Imperial Party of America, an apolitical organisation run jointly by Oscar Wilde, Daffy Duck and Vin Diesel. Through the IPA, the American Senate will slowly transfer power to the United Kingdom and the process will continue slowly and surely until at least 3000 according to current figures.

It is things like this why America is fucking annoyed of independance.

Like nearly everything somebody tries to do, the movement has come under criticism by members of the American Union of Soviet Commie Bastards, who claim that reversing the actions of the American Revolution will do more harm than good, but as they're communists who think that Animal Farm is the bane of all existence, they're not really worth a damn.