UnNews:Anglican church does split on gays

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17 December 2006

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Archbishop Akinolato tells gay church leaders exactly where they can stick their homosexuality.

FALLS, Virginia - Because of the Episcopal Church's decision three years ago to consecrate a gay bishop, two US church congregations in the US have to voted place themselves instead under Anglican Archbishop of Nigeria, Peter Akinolato.

Said a spokesperson for the congregations: "We don't want to be under any open homosexuals. We want to be under Archbishop Akinolato. He knows how to do it right."

The parishes of Truro and Falls in Virginia - founded in British colonial times - have absolutely no gay members. "Our members are straight. Straight and hard on gays."

Akinolato, a fierce critic of the ordination of gay priests, had this to say about the split in the church: "There is a gaping hole in the church right now, I can see it, I can feel it and it stinks. This yearning, this passion, this emptyness needs to be filled. And I have just the thing."

An informal survey of the church leadership revealed that 48% feel gay priests are an "abomination", 5-7% calling them "hot" and 1.5% wishing the church could go "both ways".