UnNews:Archive/April 2006
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[edit] April 1
[edit] April 2
[edit] April 3
- Collision of airborne TV station, crop duster, and diaper transport leaves 3 dead, 2 injured
- Easter bunny dies of rabies
- Ex-President Appears in War Crimes Case
- Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight
- Man has perfect day award revoked after kitten abuse.
- United Kingdom sues United States over place name trademark infringement
[edit] April 4
- Baptist minister confounded, now hates everybody
- More Sockpuppets Than Ever Addicted to Crack
- Pelicans on West Coast become man-eaters
- Uncyclopedia Suffers Mass Vandalisation
[edit] April 5
- Conflicted Nazi skinheads came out in droves
- Gates offered to pay National Debt
- Iran Tests New Weapons
- Vatican implicated in hostile takeover bid
[edit] April 6
[edit] April 7
- Exploding frogs in Louisiana kill 4; martial law in effect
- Gulf Coast Team to Study Dutch Flood Controls
- NASA to install Prius engine on Space Shuttle
- New type of Cabbage Discovered
- Uncyclopedia’s Cabal Plans to Clean House: Dozens of Uncyclopedians Given their Walking Papers
- WMDs may have been moved to Mars
[edit] April 8
- Astronauts "stray off course"
- EBay to implement workaround for patent case
- World Prepares for Bird Flu Pandemic
[edit] April 9
[edit] April 10
- Italian election too close to call as Florida tally disputed
- Queen Elizabeth changes mind on democracy thing
[edit] April 11
- Bush: claims of a preemptive strike against Iran wildly off the mark
- Emigrant rally draws 3 people
- Enron's Skilling claims innocence as wallet doesn't fit
- Floods in Czech republic
- French Labour Law Overturned
- Governator declares emergency; goes back in time to stop flood
- Hillary Calls Bush's Leak Nixonesque
- Iran enriches uranium, impoverishes carbon
- Man wins $9 million Vioxx lottery
- Punishment fit for a queen?
[edit] April 12
- 10th planet larger than Pluto, but smaller than Lassie
- China threatens USA to make all the chinese jump at the same time
- General Pace, Captain Morgan defend Rumsfeld
- Homosexuals Toughen Image With New Flag
- Iranian President "Just Kidding" About Destruction of Israel
- Mars rover proves poop rolls downhill
- Mystery Speaker to Convene Iraqi Parliament
- NASCAR to reprimand Drivers' girlfriends
[edit] April 13
- Danube River at Record Levels; Dykes, Gays Still Holding
- Delta Pilots Picnic Outside Headquarters as Strike Looms
- Israel reveals counter-counter weapon
- Number of studies published increases again in 2005-6, says study
- PC Police to get new vehicles
- Queen puts Swift's proposal into effect; English start devouring Irish babies
- Scientists Release New Venus Images; Serena pics coming soon
[edit] April 14
- Bonds' Steroids Turn Jury Into Grand Jury
- Church of Scientology invents sacrament for Tom Cruise
- Evansville to install wireless sewer system
- Hurricane Evacuees' Trailer Explodes
- Katrina Was Wake-Up Call for Preparation-H
- Last Minute Tax Tips From UnNews
- Some members of polygamy sect fleeing as law closes in
[edit] April 15
[edit] April 16
- Coles Inquiry
- Easter Bunny Celebrates 1976th Birthday
- Hundreds of iPods Sold
- Mumbai: The party gets pooped
- New Bope selected in the nick of time
- New Suspect, Known Only as "V" Arrested in Holloway Case
- Palestinians Storm Hamas HQ, Demand Hummus
- Report says Rumsfeld allowed Colonel Tigh to abuse Guantanamo prisoners
- UnNews Announces Morse Code RSS feed
- Viagra blamed for swollen Danube problem
[edit] April 17
- Buddy Holly's Watch, Grillz, Sold At Auction
- Chas 'N' Dave Split Up. Thousands Mourn
- Iran leads way towards world peace
- Tragedy At Easter Egg Hunt As Cheney Shoots Easter Bunny
- You Are Reading This Headline; About To Click On It
[edit] April 18
- Google Admits to Censoring Uncyclopedia
- San Francisco Marks Godzilla Attack Centennial
- Times-Picayune, Sun Herald, UnNews Win Pulitzer
[edit] April 19
- Bubonic Plague Strikes LA, Wikis; Bush Cuts Vacation Short
- Bush vows to make change
- KISS bandleader Jean Simmons overwhelmed by renewed public interest
- Katie Holmes Gives Birth to Reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard
- McClellan Dodges Questions on McClellan Resignation
- Uncyclopedia Declared Dead For Almost Entire Day
[edit] April 20
- Bush Confused As To Who is Visiting White House
- Confederate veterans claim they never lost
- Duke Nukem Forever Delay Postpones Iraqi Parliament Session
- EU continues to defy Microsoft, use Firefox
- Iran counters Israel's counter-counter weapon
- Police Declare Open Season on Protesters as Thousands Defy Curfew
- U.S. May Ask IKEA to Sanction Iran
- Wal-Mart Branches Into Big House Biz
[edit] April 21
- Classical Concert Ends In Riot
- John Kerry Debating Himself On Whether To Run In 2008
- Local man drops vase
- Ultrasound release of Cruise/Holmes baby
[edit] April 22
[edit] April 23
[edit] April 24
[edit] April 25
- Bush's Approval Rating Falls Below Zero
- Earth Invaded, Aliens Want Rice Cakes
- New York magician David Blaine to be filled with custard and fired into space
[edit] April 26
- Charleston Sold To Google Exec
- Fox News To Replace White House Press Secretary
- Phil Spector's Murder Trial Delayed For Haircut
[edit] April 27
[edit] April 28
[edit] April 29
- Amtrak Future Uncertain; Could Be Replaced by Steam Engines
- Immigration Deportation Law Enacted; Thousands of Jobs Opened
