UnNews:Archive/December 2007
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[edit] December 1
- Author Richard Leigh, sued over Lemmy likeness, dies at 64
- Bush names teddy bear after Jesus
- Man killed by Trouser Snake
- Scientists confirm that there is lightning on Venus; conservative group concludes that there must also be gay people
- Your mom goes to college
[edit] December 2
[edit] December 3
- British National Anthem 'not inclusive of sexual deviants'
- Jealous humanists name teddy bear “Dawkins”
- National Anthem words under debate
- Putin's United Russia take 100% of the vote in Russian election
- Spice Girls 'deny singing' In Vancouver comeback gig
- Winters wallops Canada from coast to coast
[edit] December 4
- Charles Darwin returns from dead; Wife is away
- Intergalactic Civil Liberties Union sues black hole for cosmic censorship
- MC Hammer extensions removed from flowcharts
- Maternal deaths linked to obesity
- Putin is sick of LiveJournal too
[edit] December 5
- "Weird Al" Yankovic vandalizes Wikipedia
- Annual Report into Xmas Sickies Released - Yes, They Still Cost Business Money
- Bananas intercepted; Apes charged with smuggling
- Flatulant UK pensioner told to "put a cork in his arse".
- Liberal insurrection heroically crushed
- Mouse Exsanguinated by GM Plant
- Wife asks court to declare her husband dead
[edit] December 6
- Alabama to keep ban on sex toys, Pope overjoyed
- Cluster bombs are best-selling toys this Christmas
- Wife of Darwin claims she knew he would come again, claims wife.
[edit] December 7
[edit] December 8
- Approach of Christmas brings a rapid increase in amount of advertisements in media
- Attempt to create humorous UnNews item falls flat
- Former Science Director burnt at stake for believing in Evolution
- USA's disturbed teens in desperate need of target practice
[edit] December 9
[edit] December 10
- Congressional Budget Office Thinks Realistically About Expenses
- Man stuck on toilet for 4 days after adverse reaction to curry dish
- Marilyn Manson performs fellatio, claims "it was strictly business"
[edit] December 11
- Alex Trebek fails to answer in form of question, suffers heart attack
- Dawkins: Legalise Sex With Monkies Now
- Gore climate plea to US and China
- Miss Piggy sues Britney over "intellectual property" dispute
- Study reveals that 2 out of 5 immigrants "eat cheese"
- White House Press Secretary Perino is "like, really smart, you know?"
- World mourns as Sir Cliff vows "never to sing again"!
[edit] December 12
- Another incident of stupid kid that drowns
- Greenpeace calls for greener consoles
- NASA to test faulty shuttle gauges next week; Christians thrilled
- Samurai Warriors to be banned
- The Times bans top internet site
- Welsh vodka advert complaints rejected
[edit] December 13
- Danes cleared of selling 'Terror T-shirts'
- International Olympic Committee strips former female American Olympic athlete of medals, dignity, .... and clothing?!
- Mysterious 'red dog' found on Orkney
- Optimus Prime ressurected, Rodimus relieved.
[edit] December 14
- Jesus hits out at Christmas shoppers
- US lobbying group forms, pushes for ban of all religious phrases
- West could have place in Afghan politics: Taliban
- Woman who used boyfriend as weapon against infant receives absolute discharge
[edit] December 15
- Glow-in-the-dark kittens ready for Christmas
- Patriots just might be cheating!
- The Grinch vacations in Florida, can't resist the urge to steal Christmas
[edit] December 16
- Bush administration creates Department of Fear
- Guantanamo Bay Prison to be converted to "torture your own Arab" theme park
- Iran threatened with Chris de Burgh concert
- Massachusetts school's winter break renamed to please all religions
- Nothing Happens
- Potter gives opinion on Subprime mortgage crisis
- UNC agrees to replace broken news
[edit] December 17
- Celine Dion reveals her self as "skeleton pirate ghost" to stunned fans
- Creationist who stabbed and killed evolutionist given community service, probation
- Jimbo Wales doesn't believe in Santa Claus
- Meteorological mess
- Santa replies to children's letters; Truth revealed
- Scientist finds Newspaper causes Cancer
- Tragedy Strikes Texas
- UK declares war on the weather
- Welsh angry over karaoke defeat
[edit] December 18
- BBC Radio 1 censors "White Christmas"
- Glasses are officially declared geeky
- Millions of Learner-drivers lost
- Peel schools celebrate ethnocentrism, spirit of assimiliation this Christmas
- Ridley Scott releases a new version of Blade Runner for the tenth time
[edit] December 19
- British Antarctic Survey finally finish map
- China outlaws reincarnation, Tibetan monks just found out.
- Manchester United players 'cooked and ate girls like pieces of meat' at party
- Scientists use Persil
- Storm Blamed for Death of Local Mother
- Tobacco picketing found to be addictive
- Vladimir Putin is "so gay," says President Bush
[edit] December 20
[edit] December 21
- Mobile Phones to be considered as weapons
- Oddball Medical Measurement
- Russia Switches to new Currency, Economy Booms
- Teenage girl was 'roasted' by United players at Christmas 'cannibal' party
- World Rejoices with Retirement of Ali G, Borat
[edit] December 22
- Judge upholds moussaka ban
- New laws added to UK charter
- Trouble afoot for Indian leg thieves
- UnNews Sunday Magazine December 23, 2007
[edit] December 23
- Man arrested again for indecent calls about ass
- New public sector breach in UK
- Santa Updates With Fresh, Cleanshaven Look
- Saudi woman flogged for being gang raped
- The Queen signs up for YouTube
[edit] December 24
[edit] December 25
[edit] December 26
- BBC announces plans for embedded journalists to enlist with US forces
- Governments around the world condemn Ahmadinejad for use of the word 'The'
- Media asked for more good news
- Santa Claus arrested after disappearance
- Santa dies in grisly murder
[edit] December 27
- Lebanon confirms settlement plans
- Scientists discover that everything happened in one second in 600 B.C., which is why the world is so boring nowadays
[edit] December 28
- BizNews: McCormick & Company walk a tightrope on turkey incursions
- Feminist Reach Goal in Converts for 2007
- Ron Paul makes racist remarks about African Americans
[edit] December 29
[edit] December 30
- 2008 election race continues
- Phil Spector visits Syria
- Pope's Exorcist Squads to Wage War on Satan
- Singer Morrissey's Girlfriend in a Coma; "It's Serious" Doctor Says
- World's oldest orangutan dies at age 4
