UnNews:Archive/June 2006
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[edit] June 1
- Huge Profanity Seen From Space
- Monkey Teresa Gives Comfort, Feces To Orphans
- Survey:More than half of young Britons breathe to get oxygen
[edit] June 2
- Iran Asserts It's Doing "Nothin'"
- Karaoke Inhibits Some Cancers
- New Research Indicates Coffee is Bad For Your Health
- New Research Indicates Coffee is Good For Your Health
- Spelling Bee Won by Total Nerd
[edit] June 3
- Liverpool named "least bling" by King Michael
- President calls for end to marriages
- Rubbermade announces breakthrough design for Husky storage
- Rumsfeld rebuffs Vice President's advances
[edit] June 4
[edit] June 5
- Biblical Researcher Discovers "6666" Pin-Number of the Beast
- Congress enacts safe lunch program into law
- Federal agents bust Mexican drug lab for "cutting into our profits"
- Massive impact crater discovered: scientists blame Fat Man
- NASA discovers Moon is actually giant pancake!
[edit] June 6
- Ann Coulter no longer man trapped in woman's body
- Bears shit in the woods, scientists baffled
- Interview: The Millennial Big-D Day
- World doesn't end
[edit] June 7
- Brazil Shocks France in World Championship
- EU Secret Prison Investigators Sent to Secret European Prisons
- Jack Abramoff admits to taking money from Jack Abramoff
- New Words for Webster's Leaves Many "Frengled"
- Senate fails to ban same-sex friendships
[edit] June 8
- Al-Zarqawi Death Ruled Accidental
- Google launches Google Force
- Minute Movie Trailer Review - "Cars"
- National Gay Marriage Threat Level Raised to "Flamboyant"
- Painstaking operation led to strike on Jacko
- Sandpeople Advance on Mos Espa
- World IS Flat!
[edit] June 9
- Gay Marriage Responsible for Global Warming
- Hooligans Complain of Unfair Treatment
- Police shoot white van man
- Vice President Dick Cheney Shoots Quail
- World Braces Itself For Bloodbath World Cup
[edit] June 10
[edit] June 11
- Iran Vows To "Wipe Mexico Off The Map" After Soccer Defeat
- US authorities mobilise response to new "suicide warfare"
[edit] June 12
- "In God We Trust" removed from U.S. coins; new coins to say "Fuck God"
- Campaigns For al-Qaida Presidential Elections Heat Up
- Chernobyl real-life re-enactment scheduled
- Choice of which product to buy last vestige of freedom for most Americans
- Homer Simpson awarded nuke power industry's employee of the century
- Slashdot.org "Slashdotted," Crashing Servers
- Spaceborn dust speck hints at existence of penguins in Andromeda Galaxy
[edit] June 13
- Sir Eric Idle proposes Wits For The Witless
- Stuffed Bear Dies From Honey-Pot Suffocation
- US Develops Vaccine For World Cup Fever
[edit] June 14
- Abu Hamza to Appear in Theatre Production of Peter Pan
- Australian Government Prevents Apocalypse
- Bush Makes Surprise Visit To White House
- United States May Not Be Center of the Universe
[edit] June 15
- Bill Clinton Chosen New al-Qaida Leader in Iraq
- Bush Apologizes for Mocking Homeless Man
- Elton's successor already an enigma
- Higgs-Bozo particles detected at FermiLab
- UK fields cats for counter-terror special operations
[edit] June 16
- Minute Movie Trailer Review - "Garfield: Tale of Two Kitties"
- Pastor Goes to Correct Morality in the Northeast
- Teenager Seeks Restraining Order Against Jesus
[edit] June 17
- Baghdad Overwhelmed with Flowers for Liberators
- Church body parts scandal, secret Eucharist shame revealed
- Dumbfuck Mountain branded politically incorrect by Republicans
- New Study Proves Exposure To 'Idiots' Causes Cancer
[edit] June 18
[edit] June 19
- God Disappointed in Jesus' Father's Day Gift
- Popeye Busted for Steroid Use
- Saddam faces death penalty for 1980s killing; supporter Reagan faces exhumation
[edit] June 20
- England Fans Kick Off Huge Stink in Cologne
- Germany pwnz Israel
- Government Hid Albuquerque Landing With Roswell
- Hamas Pays Palestinian Workers With Monopoly Money
- New Sting Album Too Good For Anybody
- Test of Miss USA Contestants Reveals No Virgins
[edit] June 21
- Marijuana butter shown to get kids high
- US Military unveils new weapon
- Weapons of Mass Destruction found in Loch Ness!
[edit] June 22
- Controversial Sex-Ed Book Aimed At Four-Year-Olds
- New Device Sends Copies of Documents Over Telegraph Lines
[edit] June 23
- NYMEX opens floor to Christian missionary futures
- Proposal to Ban Sugar in Massachusetts
- Todd Lyons "bigger than Jesus"
- United States and North Korea agree to carry out joint missile-anti-missile tests
[edit] June 24
- America invades Mexico
- Outbreak of Vanity Virus starts in writers
- Scientists discover first evidence of rap music
[edit] June 25
- Good News New Orleans: Ecological Devastation Also Wiped Out Fire Ants
- Holier-than-Thou not as powerful a statement anymore
- Prominent Homosexual 208.100.9.117 Reveals: Tompkins Is A Fag
[edit] June 26
- 2,500 Year-Old Chewing Gum Discovered
- Over-Enlargement of Penis Leads to Explosion
- Switzerland: The Newest Member in The Axis of Evil™
- Switzerland: the newest member in Axis of Evil™, the real story
[edit] June 27
- Lute Restorer Goes Mad in Portugal
- Mice Humming with Bacteria
- Prehistoric Spider Web May be Evidence of Ancient "Super Pig"
[edit] June 28
[edit] June 29
- Hummus Wins Trademark Fight Against Hamas
- Miracle Lightbulb Appears in Muslim's Anus
- Scotland, Montenegro protest Eurovision
- Ship Explodes in Atlantic Ocean, France Surrenders Automatically
