UnNews:Archive/March 2006

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

• Refresh

[edit] March 1

• Spam is made of Cubans
• Tokyo Attacked by Giant Killer Octahedron

[edit] March 2

[edit] March 3

• Chertoff slow in reaction to Mardi Gras
• GOD! to Judge Western Leaders. Smiting Imminent

[edit] March 4

[edit] March 5

[edit] March 6

[edit] March 7

• Extremely notable wiki files DMWVA lawsuit
• Osama bin Laden awarded star on the Walk of Fame

[edit] March 8

[edit] March 9

• Fox cancels more shows
• NYSE Merges with Archipelago - Forms MegaNYSEArcaMon
• Republicans move to rename France 'Freedomland'

[edit] March 10

• Apple Launches New Bulimia Product Line
• Windows Vista not to natively support protected mode

[edit] March 11

• Beloved Slavic Former Leader Passes, Ascends to Heaven

[edit] March 12

• Lockheed U2 special edition iPod released
• Rockstar Games Releases Homage to Urban Culture

[edit] March 13

• Appla Follows Macrosoft's Laad, Daclaras Ownarshap Of Own Lattar
• Uncyclopedia Continues to Win Contest

[edit] March 14

• Last spot in heaven taken; hundreds waitlisted
• Mad Cow found in U.S.; "Oh fuck!" exclaim citizens

[edit] March 15

• Bush condemns naval clash between Mongolia and Paraguay

[edit] March 16

• Hitler found to have soft spot

[edit] March 17

• Car flips over during A-team shootout
• Entertainment Report: Jessica Simpson Still A Blithering Idiot
• Global Warming Causes Global Drought

[edit] March 18

• Chipmunks on crack more productive than Uncyclopedians
• VFP explodes

[edit] March 19

• Jake Johnson Sighted Walking on Water
• New Species of Monkey Discovered near Amazon Forest
• Rumsfeld Silences War Critics With Op-Ed Piece
• There Is No Cabal
• UN Prison Officials Cleared of "Shenanigans" in Miloševic Case

[edit] March 20

• Planet Google unveiled; Uncyclopedia's Mars base nowhere to be found

[edit] March 21

• 17 Iraqi Bodies Found in Baghdad Cafe
• Elderly scam artists on the rise

[edit] March 22

• Bush Explains Deficit Spending is Fault of Leprechauns
• Nigerian census finds millions of rich, desperate princes

[edit] March 23

• Actor Undergoes Emergency Pocket-Watch Related Surgery
• Blair Introduces 'The Legislative Goodthink Bill'
• Bush Says He'll Keep US Offensive
• Judge Brings Down Ruling in New Jersey Satan Case
• Local man faces obesity by driving coast to coast
• Obituary: Some user, 8 December 2005-20 March 2006

[edit] March 24

• College celebrates another year of raising tuition
• French pensioners riot
• Sockpuppets hereafter referred to as "it"

[edit] March 25

• American convert could face death
• Comittee for Standardization of Business Language founded
• Encyclopædia Britannica found to be whiny douches by study
• French PM Calls for Additional Legislation to Increase Hiring Rates
• Lukashenko Wins Again

[edit] March 26

[edit] March 27

[edit] March 28

• Fed Raises Interest Rates

[edit] March 29

• Bush Blames Saddam for Iraq Instability

[edit] March 30

[edit] March 31