UnNews:Astronauts "stray off course"

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8 April 2006

A group of astronauts nearly blew it big time, today. Apparently, one of the Russian cosmonauts spilled vodka on his control panel. On top of that, the American astronaut tried to veer off course. The American explains:

The USS Enterprise saves the day.

"Okay, so we were sitting there talking about normal guy stuff, like sports, sex, etc. When Mikhail whipped out his bottle of Vodka, so we could see which race could take more shots. We were gonna let the Brazilian (who doesn't speak any English) stay sober and land the jumper. So we start taking shots, and about after the 6th round, Mikhail spills his vodka on the controls and shorts them out. Suddenly, the jumper veers off and starts heading straight for the sun!

So we're sitting there, like "Oh Shit.", and suddenly, the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) drops out of warp and tows us back with their tractor beam.

I'm just glad I beat the Russian."

The jumper was towed back onto it's original tracjectory, and the Brazilian has a pending court martial for irresponsibility.