UnNews:AudioArchive

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

This is an archive of all Broadcasted UnNews stories ever.

[edit] 2006

• "Administrative Error" leads to full scale invasion of Tie Rack
• "Chemical Ali" sentenced to death; sons vow revenge, anger, denial, celibacy and all those good stuff
• "Don't worry, you'll meet somebody," says girl.
• "Drunkest City" Milwaukee arrested in bar fight with Chicago
• "Emma Roberts is not Nancy Drew," protesters say
• "Ernest Goes to Haiti" to be released in theatres this week
• "Fair dinkum" for Aussie migrants
• "Fiddy" Cent in "redneck" row
• "Flatulent" Fumes Kill On Camping Trip
• "Ha! NERNER-NER-NERNER you didn't win" - F1 ace Alonso revels in failure of plucky Brit Hamilton
• "Here comes the aeroplane" baby-feeding technique made illegal by Congress
• "I Let Falco Out Of Hell!": Billy Mays Reveals All
• "I love democracy" declares Palpatine
• "Ipswich Ripper - The Musical" outrages the media
• "Jesus vs. Palpatine" debate rages over Internet
• "Live Earth" gigs cancelled to prevent Global Warming
• "Lost" writers in talks about ending
• "Low Food" Diet takes nation by storm
• "Seductive enchantresses" mar end of Notting Hill carnival
• "The Unexpected" hits family
• "WWJD?" leads to unfortunate end for local layabout
• "Where is the love?" asks stud stallion
• "Your opinion matters, tell it to the hand" says UK Government
• 'Bugger that for a joke,' says Australian soldier
• 'Ethical' Metroid lines created
• 'Lolita' bed for girls withdrawn
• 'Men are from Mars and women are from Venus' theory proved
• 'No opt-out' on gays for Catholic church
• 'Sturdy Desk' for sale
• 1 Million Dead from Chinese Typhoon "No Biggie"
• 12 year old victim of "Religious Intolerance"
• 13,889th suicide bomber reaches Paradise, but Allah runs out of virgins
• 13-year-old wins Writer of the Month, despite rules and common sense
• 14 Tesco stores forced to close in bomb scare
• 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue secedes from Union
• 17 Iraqi Bodies Found in Baghdad Cafe
• 2008 Election may be decided by Xbox Live Achievement points
• 26 killed in Baghdad book store, "Harry Potter" books blamed
• 5th period Chemistry sub is a total bitch
• 6-year-old boy receives $20,000 in government subsidies for insect torture research
• 67% of Israeli teens call current war "bitchin'!"
• 700-pound woman removed from dumpster
• 9/11 reminiscent of that other time when stuff happened
• AAAAAA! gets mispeeled
• AOL Discloses Searches Of All Two Subscribers
• Abandoned Sum of USD $25 Million Found in Account at Union Bank of Nigeria
• Abu Hamza to Appear in Theatre Production of Peter Pan
• Accurate search launches
• Activist treed by “fund-raising” deed: naked may be the better disguise, after all
• Actor Jim Carrey says having no skin "worth it"
• Advertising makes kids fat lardos, says FCC
• Africa loses status as a continent
• After 30 years of marriage, a London man discovers that his wife is actually a rare Yucca plant
• After Cheney-administered water boarding, Iraqi PM backs timetable
• Ahmadinejad oversleeps, forgets to destroy world
• Ahmadinejad pleads, "Send us your homosexuals"
• Ahmadinejad snaps up "renovators delight" - US missile base
• Ahmadinejad: Happy new Jewish year
• Ahmadinejad: Holocaust Was Really Big Gay Jew Sex Party
• Airport worker sent home in crucifix row
• Airstrike accidentally kills a baker's dozen of Afghan police
• Al Gore wins Noble Peas Prize
• Al Qaeda goes green; all attacks to be "carbon neutral"
• Al Qaeda trying to recruit truck driver from California highway collapse
• Al Qaeda's number Two Operative in Iraq Flees Moon, Captured in Iraq
• Al Sharpton, Mormon leaders agree: We're both kooks
• Al-Gayda casts die in Israeli conflict
• Al-Qaeda operative spills the beans
• Al-Qaida Inc. expanding, now recruiting scientists
• Al-Zarqawi Death Ruled Accidental
• Alabama okays latex bikinis
• Alan Colmes decries ratings
• Alberto voted off the Island on Survivor: Washington
• Alex Trebek fails to answer in form of question, suffers heart attack
• All political parties agree to be soft on crime
• All your boxers are belong to us
• All-purpose Jesus announces hostile takeover bid
• Allen headbutts Macaca
• America celebrates Columbo Day
• America uneasy about Queen's 16 year visit
• American Idol loser hosts razor blade party
• American billionare buys London Bridge, causes riots
• American convert could face death
• American entertainment news sources in a panic
• Americans awarded Nobel Prize for useless discovery
• Americans have high hopes for Sunni Ghetto in Baghdad
• Amy Winehouse sentenced to a month in rehab; she says, "No no no!"
• An all new, prettier, better blue screen of death
• Analyst: War on Fish will end in 50 years
• Analysts predict National Optimism Day will be a miserable failure
• Ancient chimps invented hammer
• Andrew Flintoff offered presidency of Russia
• Andy Griffith sues himself
• Anglican church does split on gays
• Ankara destroys Armenian church
• Anna Nicole Smith to be divided into thirds, distributed
• Annan on Blair: Shit fuck poo tits
• Anonymous user's Uncyclopedia article hampered by production delays
• Another bird flu outbreak successfully covered up
• Another internet "FBI agent" turns out to be 12yo girl
• Anti-genocide group announces new plan to get American government to intervene in Darfur
• Apocalypse-based cultists come out from cave
• Apple Buys Out Uncyclopedia
• Apple stocks rise on introduction of new iToilet
• Apple unveils new device - the "rotary phone"
• Applebee's takes a hit after ill-timed "Spinach Sensations" menu
• Army declares Silly String a "hazardous substance"
• Army launches new recruiting ad campaign
• Art Buchwald dead again at 81
• Article "Cheap Rip-off of the Onion" Sources say
• Asbestos and the Law
• Ashley Judd adopts Lucy Fowler's lifestyle
• Asteroid impact 2038 - Earth definitely doomed (again)
• Astronaut launches Navy career
• Astronomers to Rename Embarrassing Planet
• Astronomical misunderstanding dictates this season's fashions
• Attempted popejacking foiled
• Australia in Iraq for the free beer, admits Minister
• Australia orders fleet of prison hulks
• Australia shits itself about Fiji coup
• Australia to Aborigines: 'Sorry for the killing and the stealing and stuff'
• Automobile to single-handedly demasculinize the U.S.A.
• Ayman al-Zawahiri warns: I am impotent and complicit
• BB dayorder 13 2 07
• BBC plans documentary "I Love The C-Word"
• BRA leaders declare ceasefire
• Baby not taking baptism well
• Ban on web gambling boosts "throw away your money" websites
• Bank of America eyes Barclays, Barclays calls police
• Bank of New York to buy melon for $16.5 Billion
• Baptist minister confounded, now hates everybody
• Barbie robs bank, further pads résumé
• Barney is in critical condition at St. Alphonzo's Children’s Hospital
• Baroness heads M.A.R.S. after boardroom shakeup
• Barry Bonds hits 755 consecutive home runs in single inning
• Bears shit in the woods, scientists baffled
• Beethoven isn't deaf, he's just ignoring his girlfriend
• Beloved Slavic Former Leader Passes, Ascends to Heaven
• Beowulf's Barrow discovered!
• Bible mistranslated; Conan to inherit the earth
• Biblical Researcher Discovers "6666" Pin-Number of the Beast
• Big Bopper still dead
• Big Brother 8 to be more like 1984
• Big Brother Bush: ‘unwar in Eurasia unfar’
• Big Brother accused of "classism"
• Big Brother contestant put to death for witchcraft
• Big Brother picks all-corpse house in latest venture
• Big, fat, pink celebrities, celebrate the Pig Year in China
• Bill Gates blows fortune on bubble gum
• Bill O'Reilly condemns subway rescuer for "disgusting physical closeness to another man"
• Billy Mays' Head Explodes
• Bin Laden dies; E. coli lauded
• Bin Laden releases new video, America responds with indifference
• Bin Laden releases video; demands release of Mokey plush
• Bin Laden slams author Saddam Hussein
• Black Bear victim in race discrimination
• Black Hole discovered in Uncyclopedia, causes a rip in QVFD
• Black Holes conspiracy thickens: another Black Hole discovered at NOTM paddock
• Black Pearl 2.0 blasts off
• Blair attempts to apologise for Slave trade; No slaves found
• Blair forced to quit
• Blair promotes dead-powered power plants
• Blair releases latest in "If I Did It" series
• Blair: Saddam execution was "completely wrong"
• Blogger stoked by spike in traffic
• Bloomberg steps down
• Bobby Brown goes on Montreal shooting rampage after Houston divorce filing
• Bombers Threaten to Blow Up Taj Mahal
• Bombings on South Carolina force thousands below ground
• Bond films to address failings of Newtonian mechanics
• Boris Karloff elected London Mayor
• Bowling alley changes bowl fans over
• Boy subjected to harsh criticism, cries like little girl
• Brain surgery turns Senator Johnson from Democrat to Republican
• Brain's "addiction centre" found
• Breast Implants decrease Intellegence but won't give you Cancer
• Brit Chef serves up Crap
• Britain Foils Toothpaste Smuggling Terrorist Plot
• Britain to use climate change report to push for return to feudalism
• Britain's Trident plans leaked
• Britain's last Turkey Twizzler factory to close
• Britney Spears Unplanned Pregnancy
• Britney Spears cast as Bull in "Night Court" movie
• Britney Spears desperately tries to take media spotlight away from Anna Nicole
• Britney Spears goes broke
• Britney Spears: Everything's a lie
• Britney and Paris market new line of designer-label merkins
• Bro-on-bro taser violence reaches all-time high
• Buddhists offended by Muslims
• Bugger ON: New "Uncyclopedia DIET" welcome by readers
• Bugger off: Uncyclopedia blocks posts from the United States
• Buick Indicted for manslaughter
• Bull of TV's "Night Court" goes on 7-hour rampage
• Bull of TV's 'Night Court" released from mental hospital; faces preliminary hearing
• Burger King introduces Bun Burger
• Bush Administration - "All is well in the Middle East"
• Bush Administration puts "happy face" on terror report
• Bush Apologizes for Mocking Homeless Man
• Bush Blames Saddam for Iraq Instability
• Bush Calls U.S. Constitution "Naive"
• Bush Cancels "Unpatriotic" Memorial Day
• Bush Explains Deficit Spending is Fault of Leprechauns
• Bush Makes Surprise Visit To White House
• Bush Popularity Lower Than Herpes
• Bush acknowledges secret CIA prisons, low IQ level
• Bush administration: Earth only Planet that Really Matters
• Bush admits Iraq war is straining nation's psychics
• Bush announces bold new change in way Iraq strategy will be described in speeches and press releases
• Bush asks Congress for Surge for troops
• Bush claims outer space for America
• Bush confused at 400th anniversary of Jamestown founding
• Bush declares martial law after interpreting lunar eclipse as bad omen
• Bush declares war on Yankees after pitcher flies plane into building
• Bush deploys clone army to Iraq
• Bush holds press conference on deteriorating situation in New Jersey
• Bush huffs kitten to promote his Iraq plan
• Bush in masturbation blunder!
• Bush on Woodward's "State of Denial": No such book exists, says President
• Bush orders "Just In Case" strategy for Armageddon
• Bush picks Samuel L. Jackson as new transportation secretary
• Bush popularity soars in straw poll
• Bush pronounces "nuclear" correctly, approval rating skyrockets
• Bush questions Pelosi's manhood
• Bush retreats in war on drugs
• Bush sautes Tuskegee Airmen
• Bush stops campaigning after realizing upcoming election is not for President
• Bush takes cue from Chavez; vows to nationalize media
• Bush targets approval ratings with distraction plan
• Bush to Deploy National Guard at Canadian Border
• Bush to surrender Iraq to insurgents
• Bush undercuts Hezbollah, sends aid to Lebanon
• Bush vetoes Voting Rights Act
• Bush vetoes budget, "Takeout bill" returns to Congress
• Bush vows revenge on Mother Nature after terrorist attack
• Bush vows to leave at least a few children behind
• Bush welcomes Sheehan to neighborhood with customary Jello-O mold
• Bush wins second prize in a beauty contest, $10
• Bush, seeking new generals, taps Boy Scouts
• Bush: God Must Lay Down Weapons of Mass Destruction
• Buyers line up for a Wii
• CIA worker lauded for beating
• CNN's Nancy Grace pregnant with Spawn of Satan
• COBE satellite takes Universe' temperature
• California sues cows
• Call for help in clearing region's ethical minefields
• Call for more 'gangsta trippin' role models.
• Camilla pulls out of her funeral
• Canada goes berserk
• Canada seeks admission to United States on technicality
• Canadian troops defeat 10 foot plants after 10 day battle
• Cancer good for you, says new report
• Carbon Dioxide Air Filtering Organism to reverse Global Warming
• Carter blasts Bush (and everyone else)
• Cartoon Network launches "Obscene Bugger Farce"
• Castro Doing Well After Cigar Transplant
• Castro misses military parade due to his death
• Castro undergoes surgery; citizens flee while they can
• Castro's Brother Raul Liberates Cuba
• Cat-Dog hybrid discovered in China, scientists baffled
• Celebrities brew up a storm (but is it a tempest in a teacup?)
• Celebrity Brew test marketed in St. Louis
• Celebrity Sex Dolls sell well
• Celebrity wins Father of the Year Award
• Chancellor committed to preemptive war
• Channel 4 defiant over Diana show
• Chavez threatens to take over Venezuelans' living rooms
• Chelsea Tractors to be shot down on Albert Bridge
• Cheney destroys satellite in space
• Cheney gets a battery change
• Cheney visits Hell to shore up support for Iraq war
• Chewbacca arrested!
• Child confesses to breaking his parents new lamp
• Children's storytime reader fired for inappropriate behavior
• China bans sex
• China plans Cultural Revolution alongside 2008 Olympic Games
• Chinese blogger's death brings the gift of life
• Chipmunks on crack more productive than Uncyclopedians
• Chris Isaak not sure about all this talk about "San Francisco values"
• Christian theme park to open in Little Rock
• Chron Aquires a New Laptop with the Uncyc Sales Funds
• Chronarion's Second Coming Causing a Wave of Fundamentalism
• Chubby Checker seeks Internet meme status
• Chuck E. Jesus busted for cocaine
• Cisco announces new "telepsychic" service
• Cleveland man not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby
• Climbing Mt. Hood in December not a good idea, probably
• Clinton backer breaks leash runs away to Obama yard
• Clinton quits race for Whitehouse
• Clock ticking on Pelosi
• Clooney "devastated" over death of partner
• Clooney flips cars, trees in North Carolina
• Clown family dies in plane crash
• Coarse conduct confounds construction
• Col. Wilson expedition in bit of jam eh wot? Pip pip! Eh-heh!
• Cold snap hits Perth
• College celebrates another year of raising tuition
• Collision of airborne TV station, crop duster, and diaper transport leaves 3 dead, 2 injured
• Colorado school shooter gets "D" for effort
• Colosseum reopens in Rome
• Comittee for Standardization of Business Language founded
• Community Support Officers commended for "doing the bare minimum"
• Concerns in Israel over new weapon introduced by the Hezbollah
• Condoleezza Rice vows not to appear nude in Playboy (or anywhere else)
• Conflict in Darfur continues; nobody cares
• Congress enacts safe lunch program into law
• Congress hot for Plame
• Congress to try $70B money bomb on terror
• Consumer confidence drops in August
• Consumers buy HD DVDs to spite copyfighters
• Controversial racially charged series of Survivor claims yet another victim
• Controversy rages over Steve Irwin video
• Controversy sullies Nintendo Power Awards
• Cosmonaut's flatulence sparks alarm on space station
• Costco to sell marijuana by the bushel
• Could Queen Latifah be considered a planet?
• Coulter narrowly beats O'Reilly, Limbaugh for hottest conservative
• Country singer has broken heart, is drunk
• Courts turn to Uncyclopedia, but selectively
• Cows accused of eating infected spinach
• Crack Found in Foam on Space Shuttle
• Crack Vandal Finds God, Begs For Forgiveness
• Crack cocaine cures cancer
• Cracker Jack updates "surprises"
• Craig to chair Senate Inappropriations Committee
• Craig: "I did not have sex with that man!"
• Crappy poseur band acetate sells for $1 million
• Criminals getting younger
• Critics discard Microsoft-Novell agreement as unfunny joke
• Crocodile man Steve Irwin pretty much forgotten
• Cthulhu severs ties with Miskatonic University
• Cyber-Terrorists Attack Unnews
• Cyber-terrorists attack UnNews
• DEAR LEADER is great
• DNA tests reveal that I am Anna Nicole's baby's father
• Dakota Fanning sacrificed in new film
• Dancing a continued health problem in clubs, bars Canada-wide
• DanielCraigIsNotBond.com turns gay, stalks Bond theme singer Chris Cornell
• Darth Vader retires to cottage in the country
• David Bowie to Meet Martian Delegation
• David Caruso's tears found to cure blindness
• Daycare center gives children heroin
• DeLay shares the love in new book
• Dead ducks in Idaho mark arrival of bird flu to North America
• Deadly cloud of ass gas forces evacuation
• Death Race 2006 promises favorites, new faces, fierce competition
• Death camp brightens up with extensive makeover
• Death fridge terrorizes nation
• Death of Pinchot sparks riots, arrests
• Deer with 8 legs killed by hunter
• DefSec nominee Gates says America losing the War on Christmas
• Defenseless Hummer viciously attacked by Eco-Nazis
• Dell says laptop fire problem "overheated"
• Delta Pilots Picnic Outside Headquarters as Strike Looms
• Democrats admit they love terror
• Democrats take Senate, Harry Reid is nervous
• Denny's number one customer dies at 112
• Diana to play concert
• Dick Cheney wins Nobel Peace Prize for "A Convenient Lie"
• Dick Cheney, daughter's baby look oddly similar
• Digital anal massage - the new cure-all
• Diogenes searches world for honest mechanic
• Discovery launch scrubbed; "Clouds too hard" says NASA
• Discovery of Fred Flintstone's diary sheds light on ancient Bedrock
• Disney adds porn to televised children's fare
• Disney's Tigger takes stern action against copyright violators
• Dissolute border collie has no boundaries
• Distracting children lessens shot pain
• Do your own stunts do you?
• Doctor Who denies the existence of burgers; Americans in famine
• Doctor finds cure for "Human Condition"
• Doctors amazed what reporter can do with half a brain
• Doctors find cure for weight loss
• Doctors say ass transplant successful
• Doctors say kids need less play, more labor
• Doctors warn of the dangers of excessively "playing with your Wii"
• Dodgeball tragedy: 16 people 'out'
• Dog Whisperer cologne breaks French sales records
• Donald Rumsfeld proposes using textbooks as shields in Iraq
• Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell publically profess love for one another, plan to marry
• Dope on a Rope invention called "promising"
• Downpour hits south of England
• Dr Doom: I'm STILL not plotting to steal Ming The Merciless's job, despite his destruction
• Dr. Kevorkian to be released from prison, sent to help Iraqi suicide bombers
• Dude with Bob Marley Sticker Ignorant of Marley's Beliefs
• Dude would like totally bone Nancy Pelosi anyway
• Duke Nukem Forever Delay Postpones Iraqi Parliament Session
• Dumbfuck Mountain branded politically incorrect by Republicans
• Dunkirk debacle may extend war
• Dutch party bans poisoning politicians
• Dyslexic Supreme Court Justice Creates "Right to Arm Bears"
• E-post
• E.coli outbreak proves vegetarians are stupid
• ED's new reskin rakes in the lulz
• EON Productions defends controversial casting of eleven year old girl as James Bond
• EU Secret Prison Investigators Sent to Secret European Prisons
• EU continues to defy Microsoft, use Firefox
• EU tells consumers, do more to cut carbon dioxide emissions
• EU vows to end Mideast strife with "Children's Crusade"
• Easter bunny crucified
• Easter bunny dies of rabies
• Eating Dole apples rears healthier children
• Ebert & Roeper to introduce new review method
• Economists declare Asia fucking rules!
• Element 118 created for first time
• Elevator etiquette lacking, says Dali Lama
• Elton John actually gets sick of himself in Brisbane
• Elvira dies again
• Emma Lazarus poem updated for 2006
• Emo kid elected President of the United States
• Encyclopedia Britannica opens up royal rumble to Wikipedia administrators
• Encyclopædia Dramatica wins hearts in Wikiland
• End of the World is nigh, say scientists
• End of the world postponed once again
• England Cricketers to try new tactic
• England Fans Kick Off Huge Stink in Cologne
• England prepares for chaos and panic as snow predicted
• England shocked by occurrence of summer for 21st year in a row
• English Nature suffer from trauma
• Enron's Skilling claims innocence as wallet doesn't fit
• Entire world pissed off by Sopranos finale
• Environmentalist straps himself to back of whale to protest bulldozing
• Eric Clapton finally sober enough to understand "Cocaine" lyrics
• Esperanto declared official language of absolutely nothing
• Ethiopia declares war on Starbucks
• Europe faces 'very real threat'
• Ex-President Appears in War Crimes Case
• Ex-Wal-Mart employee pleads guilty to fraud
• Exam passes up again - "Kids still dumb" says Government
• Exclusive interview with Satan, big fan of Uncyclopedia
• Exclusive interview with deceased Opus Dei founder
• Exclusive: Saddam's gardener executed, Saddam at large
• Exclusive: Smoking is good for you
• Exclusive: Tony Blair Is Queer
• Experts recommend small nuclear war to stop global warming
• Experts say only one way to beat global warming: A World Dictatorship
• Experts want to rename schizophrenia
• Experts: Earth No Longer a Planet
• Extremely notable wiki files DMWVA lawsuit
• FAA bans oxygen from airplanes
• FBI discovers mastermind behind 9/11 attacks; "sorry" for previous misconception
• FBI finds suspicious passenger on airplane, blows it up
• FDA announces all drugs are placebos
• FDA approves virus spray for meats that will raise Bush’s approval
• FISA law passes
• FOX chief Roger Ailes nominates Osama Bin Laden
• Facial paralysis treatment hailed
• Falwell starts campaign against God
• Famous person does something
• Fanboy disappointed by PS3
• Fantasy Football Injuries Costly for Business
• Fashion police tell Austin woman "girlfriend, that outfit has GOT to go!"
• Fashion writer handed life sentence for rape, murder of garbageman
• Fat bastards "not to blame" for "eating all the pies"
• Fat chicks outlawed in Japan
• Fatah, Hamas agree to withdraw grues from conflict
• Faux Pas: bad for business abroad?
• February 31st arrives; Scientists baffled
• Federal agents bust Mexican drug lab for "cutting into our profits"
• Fermat's Last Theorem solved at last
• Fidel Castro dead, vows to continue as Cuban president
• First MS-Tres development screenshots released!
• Fisher-Price recalls toys caked in radioactive material
• Fit for a Princess: LeBron's new house is a little girl's paradise
• Flaming flatulence rocks military
• Flash and the Furious Five split
• Flock of pigs terrorize Senate offices; Clinton still refuses to apologize for Iraq vote
• Florida flooded by global warming, Sea World ironically left above water
• Footballer has a foot like a traction engine
• For Dummies author earns PhD
• Foreign objects discovered in brain medicine
• Foreigners don't understand democracy, says Bush
• Former Australian President Kurt Waldheim dies
• Former Cambodian Dictator Paul Pot wins Britain’s Got Talent
• Former Israeli PM Sharon near death
• Former U.S. President Gerald Ford dies
• Forty "respec'" areas to be announced in UK
• Four Palestinians killed in panty raid
• Fox cancels more shows
• France Pledges 1600 Troops; UN Surrenders
• France avenges World Cup defeat
• France sends 200 soldiers to Lebanon, predicts victory
• France: Oui surrender
• Fred Phelps:"God hates straights too"
• Freddie Flintoff: "Smoke 'em if you got 'em"
• Freemasons hold fundraiser; refuse to say why
• French Elections: Ennui wins by a landslide
• French Pen Pal disgusted after receiving third letter about the New York Yankees
• French mime artist dead, foul play suspected
• French psychic stripper donates body to Scientology
• French tornadoes devastate US
• Friendly game turns deadly
• Frozen pizzas manufactured in China recalled by FDA
• GM Robot to enter cognitive therapy
• GMTV fined for misleading viewers and being rubbish
• GOD! to Judge Western Leaders. Smiting Imminent
• Galactic Alliance Court of Justice invalidates JPL
• Gamers to take over the world
• Gandhi Indicated In Doping Scandal
• Gandhi posthumously accused of mass genocide
• Gates offered to pay National Debt