UnNews:Bearded folk deny they are destructive

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9 October 2006

The Malaysian Minister of Beards reacting to the angry remark just before he blows himself up with Space Satan.

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia -- Last week, a clean-shaven motivational speaker thoughtlessly characterised bearded people as self-destructive.

Yesterday, a demonstration was held in the country's capital Kuala Lumpur by bearded people, most of whom were men.

Placards were held aloft demanding the clean-shaven orator withdraw his stereotyped remarks.

"We are not destructive," said one placard, held by a Muslim man who drove home his credentials by smashing the windshields of several cars, including his own.

"Self-destruct? No way!" was the choice of slogan for a woman, who had it boldly emblazoned on her T-shirt.

One demonstrator vowed to cut off his own limbs one by one until the leader apologised.

"That'll show him how self-preserving we actually are!" he trumpeted to all and sundry present.

Another sought to draw the plight of bearded people to attention of the public by flinging himself into the path of moving trains. His last words were, "I'll do anything to erase this nasty stereotype that all we want to do is destroy ourselves."