UnNews:Big Brother is shouting at you

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2 August 2007

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	Weri Long Wang News Corporation

There it is daddy, beyond the ice cream stand. I told you there’d be a market for the system outside our country, didn’t I?

Bridlington, United Kingdom Humberside police have recently purchased a new speaking CCTV system from the North Korean government in an attempt to reduce violent crime, really violent crime and civil disobedience from Her Majesty's serfs. The first message shouted over the new system, a sound use of British tax payer’s money, was: “would the lady in the black cardigan please return and pick her litter up”. This is the kind of violent crime which will be reduced by the wonderful new Publicly Audible Network Tantamount to Serfdom (PANTS).

"Look, Big Brother is a shitty game show that has destroyed Channel 4; this is just an excuse to waste public money and make ourselves feel big by telling people to pick up litter". This was the response of General Lo Fat Chow of the Glorius People's Protection Agency of Northern England; previously known as the police. He was the original designer of the system and has been hired by the Yorkshire Police, or the People's Protection Agency, to run the system and suggest things to shout at people as they walk past.