UnNews:Bird Flu man in court today
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The evil turkey slaughterer Bernard Matthews is in court today over the recent Bird flu eperdemic. He has been blamed over importing turkey carcasses from Pieland and Transylvania. The Transylvanian turkeys came from Count Dracula's private farm. A we all know it is illegal to import turkeys from Transylvania and if he is guilty he will have one third of his blood sucked by Count Dracula. In an interveiw before he went in he said, ""I planned everything to fall at the last hurdle. Those lawsuits won't be laughing at me now!"
[edit] Please note
If you have bought a Bernard Matthews turkey you can claim your money back at Template:Www.wehatebernardmatthewsheisascumbagandwehatehimalot.org. Be warned, this may not always work!
[edit] Sources
 | This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews member. |
