UnNews:Bush to Call Royal Guard to Protect Border
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15 May 2006
UnNews: In a surprise move, President George W. Bush appointed the Royal Guard (of Star Wars fame) to help the United States guard the US-England border. In a press conference, the Prez had this to say:
"Too many English are escaping the political turbulence of their home country and flocking to the US. This is bad because English people are lowering sales of coffee and raising sales of tea. And without coffee, there can be no doughnuts. This will be a grave situation for our fine country. When I consulted the Chief of State about if I should beef up border security, he said 'All signs point to yes.' This means that the Emperor's Royal Guard must help us protect the great continent of the United States of America."
The English had this to say about the speech:
"Well, we believe this chap to be jolly well mad in the head. You see, all we English do is make fun of the Welsh and drink tea. Therefore, we are not taking anything away from America. Oh dearie me, it's almost teatime! Driver! Chop chop! We must get our delicious crumpets!"
