UnNews:Candy Meth is the new Pespi
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6 November 2007
Strawberry flavor...mmm...
Have you gotten yours yet? People everywhere are raving about Koke's new product, flavored crystalized methamphetamine, which is becoming the coolest after-school snack. In fact, this "candy" is sooo popular that many people gave it out by the bagful on Halloween! Kids everywhere are screaming because of Candy Meth © "If you haven't gotten your fill yet, head over to the nearest 7-11, or maybe the nearest Denmark, and ask for it- if you don't get arrested, you'll get high!" Catchy slogan, isn't it? Kinda rolls off the tongue...
On the other left hand, parents are trying to stop their children from enjoying these delicous morsels. If your parents try to stop you, kill them!
Interested yet? Good! If not, go kill your parents, there's no reason you shouldn't enjoy them- look at the variety!
- Strawberry Quick © - this is probably the fastest-selling.
- Grape - Me[t]h, it's alright
- Coke - woot!
- Cocaine - woot^2!!
- "Classic"
- Koke Zero © - half the sugar- still 0!
And act quickly, you can still get the limited edition custom Candy Meth © that lets you make your own flavors!
 | This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews member. |
