UnNews:Captured UK Marine to become Weatherman

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2 April 2007

"...with higH prEssure Lying Proudly over Tehran for the next few days I think it May bE safe to get out those barbeques."

BOOGANDOO, Iran -- The crisis involving the captured UK servicemen may be on the cusp of a rather unexpected resolution.

In a remarkable development it emerged this morning that Captured Marine Captain Chris Petit-Pois has become a weatherman for Iranian TV. As fears grew for the caputured sailors it emerged that one of their number had elected to take on a media career for Iranian Breakfast Show Good Morning Jihadist Martyrs.

After his first broadcast yesterday morning Iranians hailed him as "the new darling of fundamentalist Islamic Television". One unnamed mullah went further, "I knew I could have my adulterous wife stoned to death happy in the knowledge that I would not need my anorak. He must know many magics!"

It is rumoured that some of the other captives may also be considering a life in the world of Iranian show-biz. Two of the marines are thought to be undergoing grooming as Irans answer to Morcambe and Wise whilst one has allegedly poised to sign a multi million dollar record deal.

"It early days yet but I think we may have the next Cliff Richard here!" said an Iranian embassy spokesman last night, "oh and did I say 'Death to Israel'?".