UnNews:Cat saved from tree
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation. |
15 July 2007
Texas, America, Suicide in any case is not the answer, but some people are blinded by depression, sadness, and feel they are merely out of options.
A Kitten, named Whiskers felt this suicidal depression, and at 1:50 p.m. climbed a tree with the unthinkable intention of jumping off. Police came to the aid when a 911 caller reported seeing the cat at about 2:50 p.m., The police seeing this was a matter of important snapped into action and went to the scene where they convinced Whiskers life was worth living.
Insight came from owners that Whiskers suffered abuse from her mother when Whiskers lost her mitten.
"You naughty kitten, you lost your mitten, and now you shall have no pie"
"Mee-ow Mee-ow Mee-ow"
"No, You shall have no pie"
Fireman James was the first to climb up the tree to try to save the poor Kitten. Unfortunately Whiskers thought his large Moustache was a mouse, and accidentally mauled Fireman James face.
The second to climb up the tree was Fireman Dan who climbed to very top of the tree...only to slip on one of Whiskers 'Little Gifts' and was impaled on the thorns of a rosebush below.
And Finely Fireman Greg saved Whiskers, but was hit by a bus on his way home that evening.
Whiskers was reunited with his owners, but we can't help but wonder what trouble she will get into next
