UnNews:Diabetes found to be the source of growth hormones

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5 May 2008

This just in! Scientists in the Boslogovanian Rebuplic have found that diabetes, thought to be ther killer of fat men and children everywhere, is now good for you! Research finds that diabetes makes your brain think you want to grow so you won't be so large, and forces it to do so, by summoning immnese amounts of body mass and squeezing the "growth juice" out of your brain, forcing your body to grow. This raises serious issues for the Republic of 1337 baby-slaying Jedis of the planet of Jediville. Whether or not they will act soon could destroy the ecosystem of the Jawas for years to come. This is reporter Ashton, signing off.

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