UnNews:Disney halts shipments of Baby Rammstein videos
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17 November 2007
Walt Disney Corporation (NYSE: DIS) announced today that it would indefinitely halt shipments of its popular Baby Rammstein videos and related products. The videos, advertised as "an experience of exciting colors and images blended with soothing industrial-metal beats", have been blamed by police and child psychologists for a recent wave of antisocial and violent behavior in infants as young as three months.
Specific incidents include a seven month old infant initiating incest with his 2 year old stepsister in Portland, OR; an eighteen month old toddler carving and eating a playmate in Duluth, MN; two incidents of exhuming a deceased pet; and many, many incidents of firestarting nationwide.
Child psychologists have been harshly critical of the products. "It is absolutely irresponsible for Disney to be targeting infants with these videos", stated Dr. Marshall Ascot at Duke University's Juvenile Behavioral Science Unit. "Young minds are very impressionable, and many children are now growing up to believe that fire, sparks, cages, chains, and simulated anal intercourse are normal. These images combined with the martial German barking are a recipe for deviant behavior."
"Out of an abundance of caution, at the present time we are cooperating with law enforcement", stated Disney spokesperson Janet McLove. "We are confident that the allegations are unfounded and that in due time children everywhere will again be able to enjoy learning discipline the Baby Rammstein way."
