UnNews:Ex-scientology member reverse engineers thetan

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5 December 2006

A sexy hot thetan reverse engineered.

HOLLYWOOD - An ex-Scientology member known as "Number 455" has released the source code to a reverse engineered thetan after he was convinced that people could better use their thetans if the source code was released to the public.

455, who left the Church of Scientology when he forgot to bring his thetan to gym class, was forced to do his e-meter readings in the nude while other auditors watched.

After seeing his pale, soggy thetan in the reflection of the window, he decided that he would reverse engineer it to allow better features to be available to the other four scientologists. During the reversing process, 44 was repeatedly harassed by scientologists, who employed powerful techniques to scare him into quitting. They went as far as making faces through his windows, and sending him hand-drawn cards entitled "You doody head!!!1".

With the release of "Thet0n" version 1.2 next week, 44 has managed to hack the following features into his version of thetan: