UnNews:Gas Prices Expected To Rise Up To $0.07 By The End Of The Summer
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29 May 2008
-- Times have been hard for many Americans lately. Gas prices haven't stopped rising in nearly a month. This fact sickens many people, and it looks as if it is going to be worse. Not only are the people of America paying tons of money for rising gas, but now it looks as if the patriotic hero Jeroen van der Veer will be paying as well. Jeroen van der Veer is the CEO of the Shell oil company and in a recent interveiw with Oscar Wilde, he said that rising gas prices will hit ALL parts of America. Up until now Jeroen has been paying an astoundingly high $0.03 per gallon of gasoline, but as OPEC keeps rising the price of oil, it looks like he will be paying $0.04 by the end of June and $0.07 by Labor Day.
“I will fix this. Even if it takes getting intimate with Saudia Arabia!”
~ Jeroen van der Veer on oil crisis
Mr.Veer is cutting back too. He has decided to cut back to save money. Instead of driving his Hybrid car to and from work, he is carpooling with his neighbor in their new Hummer H3 vehicles. He encourages everyone else to do this as well.
“The buying of new Hummers will require more jobs for immigrants. This way everyone wins!”
~ Jeroen van der Veer
[edit] Sources
- Seirge Tankin "I-E-A-I-A-I-O". ]], May 29, 2008 Category:North America,


