UnNews:Greys Athletic finally clinch Premiership Title
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5 April 2007
CYDONIA, Mars : Scenes of jubilation in the hometown of Greys Athletic as they are finally awarded the Premiership title; with 231 points, they have the highest ever total of points in a Premier League season; an achievement even more significant as they only played one game, against Chel$ki, which was won 83-1. The vast number of points was based on a ruling that should a team not turn up to play the other team will be given the 3 points for the win and 5 extra. Greys have therefore run away with the title, capitalising on their remote and hard to reach location.
Manager E.T. had this to say: "I'm proud of the lads. Dead proud. We only played one game but I'm sure we would have won the others 83-1 as well. I mean, Chel$ki's spacesuits didn't give them too much of a disadvantage."
Star centre back Gandalf "You shall not pass" the Grey had this to say: "We dominated the league from start to finish. I'm only surprised it took so long for us to get awarded the title. I mean, we did only let one goal in all season. That's pretty good."
It is the first major honour for Greys in their 60 year history, and Cydonia was one big party.
CIA and FBI representatives were rounded up and purged in what is being seen as revenge for the extermination of the Cydonians in Essex 30 years ago.
