UnNews:Heathrow Airport Heralds New Invention - Queues

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11 August 2006

LONDON, England -- Flights in and out of London have been disrupted this past few days because of evidence collected that points to a terrorist directed at the USA. Even more worrying is not the mayhem and destruction that has been averted but the horrible inadequacies found in the operation of London's main airport, Heathrow.

It is estimated that a flight either enters or leaves Heathrow's airspace every 3 seconds. On the ground this creates something of a logistical nightmare and not only does the space have to me found for the planes but prospective travellers but scientists have developed in conjunction with the airlines a novel solution. They call it a queue.

A queue can be formed by the simple addition of extra travellers to a line. In this way travellers can be accommodated by forming longer and longer queues. Initial experiments have proved successful with some queues being formed that can take several hours to clear.

BBC Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles said this morning "I wanted to get to Glasgow this morning. I've been standing in this queue for nearly 7 hours". London Mayor, Ken Bates told Reuters "We had plans to just shut down the airport but these queues mean that we can keep the airport open for longer".

Experiments into queuing are currently undergoing clinical trials. "This may be a solution to traffic jams on the M25" explained Ken, "We're planning to install signs which say 'Long Queues Expected' on most of the motorway by December". Plans are underway to introduce queues to other applications like Bus Stops, Ticket Windows and Dole Offices in the near future.

This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews member.